


Fleur De Saints

by tnnyoh



Category: Saints Row
Genre: Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flashbacks, Gen, Graphic Description, Hostage Situations, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Mental Anguish, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Child Abuse, Psychological Torture, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-04-30 07:42:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14492136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tnnyoh/pseuds/tnnyoh
Summary: Three years after Zinyak, after Hell, the 3rd Street Saints long disbanded.  A call to action comes in an unsuspected place.  Will the Saints be ready?





	1. Reclamation

**Author's Note:**

> Minor trigger warning for this chapter because I mention attempted suicide.

LOCATION: New Steelport  
TIME: 9:05 AM

The alarm was blaring, the sun was shining and all the former president of the united states wanted to do was throw the damn thing out the window. "It's too damn early" He yelled at his alarm "Stop fucking shouting" 

He grabbed it and yanked it out of the wall and when it finally stopped blaring, he realized that he would never be able to get back to sleep. 

"Son of a-" he started as he pushed himself into a sitting position, grabbing a pair of pants and a worn out t-shirt that probably should have been tossed three years ago. He rose from the bed and checked himself in the standing mirror by the door, he looked like a wreck from the all-nighter he pulled last night. His hair sticking up in odd places and bags under his eyes that he wasn't sure weren't both black eyes from being socked in the face by one or more of the offended party-goers.

How much did he have to drink last night for fuck's sake?

He looked at his shirt, it still had the mustard stain on it from when he and the gang made a new home on this strangely Earth-like planet after defeating Zinyak, that was three years ago, he still couldn't believe they all got out of that alive. 

After Zinyak was defeated they lived on the ship for a while, even celebrating holidays and birthdays, but an unfortunate event during Kinzie's birthday party ended up with him being dragged down to hell to be forced to marry the devil's daughter. Only to be saved by Johnny Gat, saint's badass and Stillwater hero.

After that, Johnny was able to find a new home for the saints, a planet that was so like earth there was almost no difference at all, except the sunset in the east and rose in the west. Kinzie had concocted a plan to destroy all the pods that ZInyak had on his ship and stole a fleet of the alien ships to bring all the survivors to New Earth.

Three years later it was like none of that ever happened, The Saints hadn't seen each other in years, he hadn't even seen Johnny in the years since. He tried to contact them, to reach out, but it seemed like the group was just done. He couldn't blame them. Wasn't it his fault that former earth was destroyed anyway? If he had just listened to Zinyak, maybe none of this would have ever happened.

Looking back on all of it, he had sometimes wondered if his life didn't need more... meaning to it. Now that the saints were unofficially disbanded, he had no friends, and though he could get women, he didn't really think women could ever get him. So romance was out of the question.

And he was a bartender, every other job just felt meaningless after everything he had been through, at least when the bar closed he got to drink from the tap. He forced a comb through his hair and winced when it snapped in half, shit, he needed to buy stuff instead of just stealing it from various hotel and motel trips. Not that he ever went anywhere, just pretended to be a tourist sometimes. It made him feel better to see Steelport with new eyes.

He had wanted to go back to Stilwater after everything that happened, but then earth was destroyed and Stillwater destroyed with it. All of his former friends, former enemies, everything was taken away. 

There was still New Stilwater, but it didn't have all the dilapidated charm of the old one, he supposed that Johnny had gone back there, and maybe dropped his phone down a storm vent, as that would be the only explanation for him not calling for three years.

Maybe nobody wanted to admit what had happened, it was all pretty fucking crazy, hell, sometimes he didn't want to admit what happened with Zinyak, with Hell... It was a crazy ride with the saints, but now it was all over.

He felt his stomach rumbling quite loudly, he groaned "Oh shit, I'm hungry" He headed downstairs to check the fridge for something to eat but to his horror, the place had been cleaned out by his guests last night. Absolutely nothing, unless he wanted to eat rice cakes.

So there he was on the floor of the kitchen in old ratty clothes, surrounded by a mess of broken beer bottles and other people's throw up, munching on stale rice cakes when he got a call, the call he had been secretly waiting for the last three years. He grabbed his cell out of his pocket and pressed answer, his mouth still full of rice cake "Hewlo?" He mumbled

"Boss, It's Kinzie. We need to talk"


	2. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinzie and Boss talk it out at a local establishment, shocking news is revealed and Boss learns that the Saints have a new boss.

"Kinzie, slow down. I can't understand a word you're saying right now" Boss said, the line was cracking a little bit and he was sure his phone battery was about to die.  

"There's a new gang cropping up on the outskirts of Stilwater, and it's bad Boss.  Things are looking really strange over there"

"How do you know that?" 

"Uh..." She faltered "That's not important" She said all too quickly,  Boss raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat "Kinzie... I haven't heard from The Saints in three years, now if you have and you're keeping that a secret... then I-"

"Sorry, Boss" She said, she sounded earnest about it "After Johnny helped us find a new planet to make our home, Shaundi and the others decided that... the Saints would be better off without.... Well that we'd be better off"

"Are you fucking kidding me right Kinzie?" He asked, feeling the back of his neck go hot in his anger

"I'm sorry, It's not like I didn't try to fight it, but Shaundi is..." 

"Scary, I get it.. But this is ridiculous.  After everything that I did for the Saints they just throw me out like yesterdays moldy pizza!?" 

"Where do you get your pizza from? Ew"  Kinzie asked, Boss wasn't in the mood for her light humor. He shook his head "You get the gang back together, and you invite me." 

"No Boss, I can't do that. They don't even know I'm calling you for help" 

"What the fuck?" He rose from the kitchen floor "So I'm like... the weird uncle nobody wants to invite to holidays anymore? What happened Kinzie?" 

" _I_  will meet with you, and I'll explain everything, just... meet me at that little french place downtown" 

"French?" 

"It has good food" She said defensively "Plus it's not a normal Saints hangout so, nobody will see me if I go there with you" 

"Great" He said "Just... I'll be there in a little bit"  He hung up and walked to the living room, grabbing the t.v remote and throwing himself into a pouting mess on the couch.  He couldn't believe the Saints, he found that he was most angry with Pierce and Johnny, he knew those two since he was too afraid to speak, and now this? 

"What the hell Shaundi..." He said, flipping from channel to channel abentmindedly.    Twenty minutes into his silent mopping, his phone vibrated with a text from Kinzie

_"Boss, where the hell are you? I can't just wait around for you all day. This is serious, I know you're mad at me and the rest of the Saints, but meet with me and let me explain why the others decided on this. Please, remember all those 'fun' times we had hurling insults at Zinyak? That was fun right? Come on Boss, I'm going to be here for fifteen more minutes and if you're not coming, I'm leaving"  
_

He sighed heavily and pushed off the couch, he supposed he ought to get it over with and hear Kinzie out, he also shouldn't be so hard on her, This was Shaundi's doing, not Kinzie's.  

Everyone in New Steelport was excited this time of year, it was nearing summer and the weather was finally getting tolerable enough so they didn't have to hole up inside and wait for the sweet release of death.  Of course Boss didn't mind the cold, he remembered the cold Michigan winters back on Old Earth and how it always made him feel at home, as silly as it sounds.

He chuckled as he got behind the wheel of his car, it was a little beat up but it was still drive-able, long had the days he could get any car he wanted passed, he'd been stuck with his hunk of junk for two and a half years now.  She was a lemon, but she was his lemon.  He was glad none of the Saints could hear him thinking like this, he was always outwardly so hostile and borderline psychopathic but he had a heart, he had feelings.  He even had dreams...  But he had no real reason to talk about any of that. 

Gang life hardened him, made him stronger emotionally and it made it easier to pretend nothing mattered but the violence, as much as he missed the Saints, he still felt like maybe he wasn't cut out for that life anymore.   He never showed emotion or weakness because people out there could use that against him, he learned it at nineteen, and he held onto it to this day.

He stopped the car in front of the L'amant doré, a new fancy french resutrant that had been built in the last couple months.  It was a hit, who knew the people of New Steelport were so pretenscious.  He saw Kinzie sitting in one of the outside chairs eating what looked like ice cream in a wine glass.  He shut the car door and walked over, taking a seat across from her "Is that..." 

"It's parfait, yogurt and granola"

"Sounds disgusting"

"It's not disgusting" 

"I am sitting here looking at it, and it looks disgusting"

"Nice to see you too, Boss" Kinzie said without looking up at him as she was too focused on her disgusting ice cream wannabe.   He took a deep breath "So, what's going on?"

"Shaundi thinks you're unstable" Kinzie answered simply 

"Unstable?" He looked down at the table "Mentally or financially?" 

"She thinks that you're not fit to lead the Saints anymore after everything that happened to you, we were all really worried about you after Zinyak." 

"Hey, I'm not some... some nutcase who can't take an alien invasion or a first class trip to hell" 

"Where you were held hostage and forced into a marriage you didn't want" She reminded him

"Right, okay so there's that.  But everyone goes through struggles in life, Mine just happened to... not bother me" 

Kinzie took another bite of her yogurt and gave him a look "So you're saying none of these events traumatized you at all, not even a little bit?"

"Do I look traumatized?" 

"No you look like you haven't slept properly in seven years, but that's none of my business, What is my business is that three years ago Shaundi, Pierce and Johnny got together and made a decicion on what would be best for the Saints going forward."

A waiter came up to the table and interrupted their conversation, He spoke only in french and had a head completely devoid of hair "Excusez-moi Monsieur, voulez-vous entendre nos spéciaux de déjeuner?"

Boss looked at him and raised his eyebrow in confusion "Kinzie, what the fuck does this guy want?"

Kinzie gave him a look and turned to the waiter "Le monsieur ne restera pas" The man nodded and left the two alone again.  "He was asking about your order and I told him you weren't staying.  You don't even speak basic french?" 

"I don't need to speak french, what the hell Kinzie"

"Even Pierce can understand basic french" She reasoned

"Yeah but Pierce was the face of the Saints and Saints international, he had to learn a bit of a ton of different languages, doesn't make him a savant"

"Ah so you do know some french" Kinzie joked 

"Can we get back to the subject... Shaundi thinks I'm too unstable to lead the Saints?"

"Pretty much" 

"What about the others, they just....agreed?" 

"Look, we all went through some really intense stuff with the Zin, it affected all of us.  It just.... Pierce and Johnny aren't the same kids you ran the streets with"

"Hey, you only joined the saints a couple years before the attack, don't pretend like you know them better than I do" He said, pounding his hand on the table to emphasze his irritation

"I know what I see, and I see that they have changed. Johnny was held captive for years, you didn't even consider trying to find him, Even if he won't say it. That affects him"

"No fucking way, Johnny would have told me if he felt anything like that, he would have, he and I... we're best friends, and It's different, I thought he  _died._ Kinzie"

"When's the last time you even spoke to him?"  A silence followed her question and she nodded a confirmation to his unspoken thoughts, the Saints weren't over, they were just over  _him_.   

"So why did you call me? What dangers are lurking in the corners of the world that only I, the Boss, can handle? What about your new boss?" 

"Shaundi is capable, but she's... she's too stubborn about things, she doesn't know how to let go and be part of an idea instead of the one who came up with it.  She won't even listen to anything I have to say, Like everything I say is so 

nonsensical and she won't even consider it, even if it makes the most sense-"

 

"Kinzie"

 

"Yeah, right, sorry. Even though you and I butted heads on a lot-"

"You mean I didn't understand half of what you were saying"

"Exactly, even though you didn't... You also didn't treat me like I was wrong. You at least gave my ideas a chance, and realized I was smarter than you. Shaundi's ideas lately have almost gotten several low member Saints killed.  I hate to say this about her, but she has very poor leadership skills."  

"I don't hate to say that, I told her that all the time,  _Let me say it_. Invite me to one of your super secret Saints meetings"

"While I'm sure everyone would be absolutely delighted to see you, I can't do that. It would be a violation of the agreement we all made not to contact you about gang related activity"

"But you've already done that" 

"Right, well.. Just... I'm going to get in trouble once everyone finds out anyway, so uh, here's the thing.   We've been looking into Stilwater's gang activity and they have a strange M.O.  They've been robbing a lot of banks, like a shit ton" 

 

"Oh big whoop, I could rob a bank in my sleep. I think I was asleep the last time I did." 

 

"Oh my god, shut up for a second.  While we were hacking their information and peeping on their shit, they found out about it and sent some people to New Steelport and... Pierce got kidnapped"

 

Boss took this moment to knock her parfait to the ground in surprise since he himself did not have anything on the table, she took one glance at the parfait and one glance back at him "You owe me ten dollars" 

 

"Ten dollars for a fucking yogurt?" He shook himself "I mean, PIERCE GOT FUCKING KIDNAPPED?" He shouted out so loud that everyone in the near vicinity turned towards the pair of them 

  
Kinzie grabbed him by the wrist and dug her nails into his skin "Shh!" She said "Will you quiet down." She whispered

 

"Why didn't you tell me about Pierce over the phone, like why wasn't the first goddamn thing out of you mouth 'Heya boss, sorry it's been so long, the saints are all assholes and also Pierce got  _kidnapped_ "

 

"I wanted to tell you, but I thought it'd be easier to hear in person"

 

"Newsflash Kinzie, when you're telling someone that their friend's been kidnapped, it's never easy to hear it.  Where is he?" 

"As far as we know, they took him back to New Stilwater" She stood up from the table and motioned for him to do the same "Come on, I'll take you to my place and we can talk more about this.  And Boss, leave fifteen dollars"

 

"What?" He said, getting out of the chair and cringing up at the fancy french lettering on the resturant heading. 

 

"You broke that glass, leave fifteen or I'll just hack it out of your bank account later" 

 

"Ugh, fine" He pulled out his wallet to grab the money, he reluctantly slammed it down on the table and rolled his eyes into the back of his head.  

 

"Stop rolling your eyes" Kinzie said

 

"Are you hacking my mind now?" Boss said, following behind her

 

"That's not how hacking works" She said, What she didn't know was Boss mocking her with false mouth movements behind her.  

 

_I am so awesome_  he thought.  

 


	3. One More For The Taking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinzie fills Boss in on the goings-on of the Saints while he was gone.

Boss watched as Kinzie typed on her laptop and occasionally pushed her glasses up onto her face, he felt like he had been watching her do this for years before she finally looked up and started speaking again.  "Got it" She said, before automatically going back to putting full attention on her computer.  
  
"Is it weird being a total geek?" He asked  
  
"Is it weird that I know your birth name and your bank account routing number?" She countered without looking up.    
  
"Jesus Christ, Kinzie. You know I'm just joking around"   
  
"And you know that I'm just joking around.  But in any case, don't piss off a hacker. You probably should have learned that already, given the amount of times Matt Miller hacked your shit"   
  
Matt Miller was a former hacker and member of the Deckers gang in old Steelport, he switched sides and joined the saints, and eventually followed Asha Odekar to MI6, he was also instrumental for finding the digital simulations that Zinyak stored his prisoners in three years previously.  Boss hated him when they first met, but he had a soft spot for the kid now, plus Matt was the only one who was able to make Nyteblade sound good.  Even Josh Birk couldn't sell him on that.   
  
Boss coughed to indicate his impatience and Kinzie rolled her eyes "Do you want to take over for me here? I am trying to access personal files"  
  
"I thought you were going to tell me about Pierce's kidnapping"  He crossed his arms and leaned forward on the couch "Yes" She responded "I will, just give me... a minute."  
  
"Oh shit" she said "I uh... I'm getting a call" She arched her eyebrows in a worried expression "It's... it's Shaundi"  
  
Boss hoped off the couch and leaned over her shoulder "Answer it and tell her I'm here"  
  
"I will not do that, be quiet" She took a deep breath and pressed the phone to her ear "Shaundi."    
  
Boss leaned over just enough to hear Shaundi's voice on the other line "Kinzie, we need you to look up O.D.I.N, that's the name of the gang from Stilwater, the kid I talked to claims the letters mean something, it's not just a name, it's a lame acronym"   
  
"Looking up O.D.I.N" She said   
  
Boss made a face "ODIN?" He mouthed.   Kinzie smacked him away like an angry flyswatter   
  
"Any news on Pierce at all?" She asked, switching her phone to be held up to her ear by her shoulder so she could use both arms to type into her laptop.    
  
"No, But... Kinzie, I know what we talked about the other night. About talking to... I don't know if inviting him back into our lives is such a good idea. We have no idea how his mental status is"   
  
Boss tapped Kinzie on the shoulder and she mouthed angrily "No!"   
  
"Uh Kinzie? Are you there?" Shaundi's voice came through the line again.  Boss reached for the phone and Kinzie smacked his hand away "Yes sorry Shaundi, I'm looking through the database right now, but it's not popping anything up about O.D.I.N"  
  
"Probably because ODIN is a stupid name!" Boss whispered hoarsely   
  
"Kinzie... is there somebody else with you?"   
  
"No, Of course not."  Kinzie said, she was slightly panicked   
  
"Then why do I hear talking?" Shaundi asked  
  
Boss reached for the phone again and Kinzie glared at him "Stop it" She mouthed again, he ignored her and grabbed the phone out of her hand "Don't be pissed at Kinzie for this, but I'm here, It's me.  And I know about Pierce, and I know about your little group decision to kick me out"   
  
"Boss.. I..." Shaundi started   
  
"No Shaundi, I don't want to hear it.  I thought you and me were friends. We've been riding together since Stilwater and you went behind my back with Johnny and Pierce and just decided I was too mentally unstable to deal with being in The Saints? You should have come to me!"   
  
"When, Boss?  Right after we lost Johnny, when we were fighting STAG?  While we were fighting against Zinyak and his minions or after you were saved from the Devil?   
  
"Wait, you... you were honestly questioning my leadership during STAG?" Kinzie was sitting on the edge of her seat trying to listen to both sides of the conversation, Boss had never seen her look so interested in anything besides computers.  If he wasn't so pissed, he'd be amused.  
  
No that wasn't right, he wasn't pissed.  He thought he would be, but he was more hurt that his most trusted friends didn't even think they could confide their fears in him, he would have said this to Shaundi, but the next thing she said blew all of that out of his mind "Boss, I... I hate to say this but I don't think you've been the same since you came out of your coma all those years ago"   
  
"Shit, Shaundi. You think I'm unstable _now_? You didn't think I was unstable when I shot Dane Vogel in the face and pushed him out a window? What about when I shot Julius fucking Little?"   
  
"See, Boss, I don't think that was unstable. Julius fucking betrayed us, I would have shot him too if I had any clarity at all back then.  What I'm talking about is you don't seem yourself, you haven't for a long time."  Kinzie raised an eyebrow and pushed away her keyboard desk and got closer to the cell phone to hear Shaundi better  
  
"You used to fight for what was right, you used to be what a Saint was supposed to be, now... And for a long time you've been someone I don't even recognize"  
  
"You're forgetting that every goddamn thing I fought for back then was revenge or being pissed off at other gangs, Shaundi. I wasn't fighting for shit back then except power, and when I got a taste of it, I went off the fucking rails for it.  Would you rather have that guy?"  
  
"I'm sorry Boss, but at least that guy had motivation for the right reasons, You've changed, and I don't think your changes are reflective of a good leader anymore."   
  
"Christ Shaundi, like it or not, I'm back in this.. And I'm going to help find Pierce, because you're right. I have changed, I'm better than I used to be."  
  
"I hope you're right about that Boss, but I don't think you even know what I'm talking about" She said, and the line clicked as she ended the call, Boss sighed and handed the cell back to Kinzie   
  
"Jesus, you get a little therapy and suddenly you're not fit for service in the Saints anymore"  
  
"You had therapy?" KInzie said with a small chuckle "I mean, of course.. I think it's obviously worked so well"   
  
"Kinzie, Just tell me about Pierce"   
  
 * * * *   
  
"So Pierce was last seen about a week and a half ago, We were with him for part of the day but obviously not when he was kidnapped" Kinzie said, pulling off her glasses and cleaning them with a tiny cloth.  "We had been tracking the gang for a while, even tailing some of the steelport members..  I managed to get a tracking chip on one of them during our exploits"   
  
"You have tracking chips?"   
  
"I have a lot of stuff I've never told you about.  But, the important thing is that the tracking chip is still active"  
  
"Then why the hell haven't you guys gone after and questioned this asshole yet?"   
  
Kinzie put her glasses back on and brushed her bangs out of her face "We've been held up by arguing about whether or not to bring you on"   
  
Boss started laughing loudly and smacked his hand against his head "You...let me get this straight, you've all been dicking around instead of trying to help Pierce?"   
  
"Pretty much" She nodded "Now that you're here, regardless of how much Shaundi disagrees, we're all going to meet up and talk about the plan"  
  
"How about we don't and I just go kill this asshole?"   
  
"Kill him? No, Boss you can't kill the only gang member we have tracking on, we need to tail him for a while and gather intel"  
  
He got up and started to pace around the small room, Kinzie's computers were taking up most of the space and the other half was littered with items he distinctly and vividly remembered laying around at Safeword.    
He bent down to pick up a pamphlet laying underneath some old CD cases, which were empty "Jesus Kinzie, do you ever clean this place?"   
  
"Huh?" She asked, distracted by something she was reading on her computer "What is the point of cleaning, it'll just get dirty again"  
  
"My kind of mindset"  He flipped over the pamphlet and raised an eyebrow "Kinzie what the hell is this?"  
  
"It's part of a cult, don't worry about it. I never joined"   
  
"That wasn't my main concern" He picked up a whole stack of pamphlets "Do they just... deliver these to your house?"   
  
"Yeah, last couple of months.  They really want members"  
  
Boss took a breath and set the papers back down on the table next to Kinzie's computer "So alright, I can't kill the guy. But do I have to be the one to track him? Boring"   
  
"Boss, you've been 'out of work' so to speak for a really long time, do you even remember how to run a criminal empire?"   
  
He chuckled "Kinzie, kinzie, kinzie..."   
  
"I know my name, you don't have to keep saying my name"   
  
"Kinzie.  You don't just forget to be the best gang leader in all of the united states."   
  
"My point is that you probably won't be allowed to go anywhere near him, not until we talk with the others"  
  
He slumped down into a chair, he had momentarily forgotten all of his former friends hated him and thought he was too mentally fragile to be a part of the saints. Sitting here in Kinzie's lair surrounded by thousands of cult pamphlets brought back a lot of memories, He missed the Saints, but he wasn't even sure what he was missing anymore.   
  
"Fine, when do we meet with them?"  
  
"Soon, I'll call Shaundi back and ask her."  Kinzie picked up her phone "But, boss?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Be nice, I know you're hurt because of what they did but... be nice"  
  
"Hurt? Hah!" He laughed an awkward and fake laugh "Yeah, hurt...huh.." his voice cracked and he coughed to cover it up, Kinzie shook her head and dialed Shaundi.  
  
It was going to be a long fucking week.  
  
  
  



	4. Operation: Rescue Mission (Alpha Dogs)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boss and Kinzie meet up with Gat and Shaundi, who aren't too eager to explain why Boss was cut out of the Saints.

Here they were, the new Saints crib.   Boss looked up at the building as he got out of Kinzie's car, he whistled "Wooo, Shaundi's got a nice place here"   
  
"Yeah, it's our new hangout.  Since all the other ones were bombed or raided" Kinzie shut the driver seat door and looked up "It's nice"  She started walking ahead, holding her laptop in her arms.  She turned back "Uh, Boss? You coming up?"  
  
"Huh? Yeah in a minute"   
  
She walked back to him and grabbed him by the arm, starting to drag him near the entrance to the apartment complex "Look, you're going to have to get this over with. Rip off the bandaid.  It's going to hurt for like five seconds and then the awkwardness will be over"   
  
Fifteen minutes later, Boss was silently cursing Kinzie's words, after a silent elevator ride with her up to the top which was Shaundi's new crib was located, a very spacious luxury apartment. To which he made an awkward entrance by knocking over a couple of CDs off a shelf by the door.   
  
And so it was that Boss, Kinzie, Shaundi and Gat were seated opposite each other while the sun crept in through the high windows, reflecting off Gat's sunglasses and right into Boss' eye.  He felt the light beam burning through his cornea, but he didn't want to blink, or make them think he was crying.   He would never cry, not in front of these losers.   He looked at Gat, then Shaundi, then Kinzie, then the strange dog that he guessed belonged to Shaundi.  Weird, he didn't think she was a pet person.   
  
"So you have a dog" he said, finally breaking the silence and looking at Shaundi  
  
"I got him a while ago, his name is Ocelot"   
  
"Isn't that a little intentionally confusing?" Boss arched an eyebrow   
  
"I didn't name him" She added, crossing her arms  "Pierce did"  
  
Kinzie sighed and rolled her eyes "Can we just get over this awkward shit, Boss is back and he wants to help us find Pierce"  
  
"Boss is only back because you _called_ him"  Shaundi said eyeing Kinzie "And I don't understand why because we were perfectly capable of doing this without him"  
  
Boss groaned "You obviously can't, because apparently Pierce isn't here.  Gee, I wonder why that is! Oh, because you can't, literally cannot find him without me" He leaned back on the couch, feeling smug.  He knew that in this situation he was right, more than half the time he was right even though his gang friends very rarely listened to his opinions.   
  
He didn't know when that started, probably a long time ago. And maybe they were right not to, I mean he started out his life in the Saints as a nobody, just a kid really...  He was a rough around the edges kid who was too afraid to speak up and defend himself back in those days, unfortunately he grew into a borderline psychotic asshole and he suspected when he finally opened his mouth, a lot of others wished he never had.   He can't imagine how Shaundi could have seen him change through the years and think he was better when he was angrier.  
  
"We don't have time for your tantrum" Shaundi said standing up "Pierce is out there somewhere, and we have to find him."  
  
Kinzie shut the lid on her laptop and stood as well "So maybe, just maybe, put aside your differences and like... lets go find Pierce"  
  
"Alright" Boss said, "We need a name..."  
  
"Uh, what?" Kinzie asked, looking at him  
  
"Like we're starting a rescue mission, we need a name for it.  Rescue Mission _Alpha Dogs_ " He said proudly, at the mention of "dogs" Ocelot started barking loudly and ran to the couch, jumping up beside Boss and licking him on the face, to which he responded by shuddering and putting his hand up as a kind of shield between him and the dog  
  
"Not that kind of dog" He said, reluctantly petting him on the top of his head  "But I mean, what do you guys think?"  
  
"I don't think we need to waste anymore time coming up with a name for going to rescue our friend" Shaundi said, turning away from the window with her arms still crossed and a sour expression on her face.   
  
Boss turned to Gat "Johnny, you've been awfully quiet this whole time"  
  
He shrugged and took off his sun glasses "Yeah, I don't want to get between you two" he said with a smirk, Shaundi glared at him "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Oh you know, the bickering, it's..." he smiled sheepishly "Well you'll figure it out"  
  
Shaundi and Boss looked at each other, and then simultaneously understood Gat's meaning, "Ew" Shaundi said  
  
"What do _you_ mean ew?" Boss said "I mean total ew on my side, but what do you mean?"  
  
"What do you mean total ew on your side? I have seen you checking out my ass before" Shaundi said, shaking her head  
  
"I've checked out everyone's ass!" He said trying to get up from the couch despite the dogs insistence to lick his face. Kinzie helped the dog off the couch and gave him a little pat on the head before turning her attention back to Boss and Shaundi "Alright, children. Lets figure this out. We need a plan of action"  
  
"We need a name" Boss said, putting his hands on his hips in a superhero pose  
  
"We don't need a name" Shaundi countered  
  
"No we do, I suggest.. Operation: Rescue Mission Alpha Dogs"  
  
"What does that even mean?" Kinzie asked  
  
"It shows that we're a rescue mission but we aren't above being Alpha Dogs, if we need to be" Boss said, he was very proud of his naming ability, but looking around the room he realized nobody else was. He frowned "What, you guys don't like my name?"  
  
"Nobody here knows your name except me" Kinzie remarked  
  
"Har har, I meant my operation name"  
  
"Kinzie, you know Boss's name?" Shaundi asked "I literally have never even though about this before"  
  
"Hey you know, I really don't like the direction this conversation is going" He said with an unconvincing and nervous laugh  
  
"I've been in the saints longer than anyone and even I don't know his name" Gat said "And I'm his best friend"  
  
" _Were_ , you were my best friend."  
  
"How can you not know his name, Johnny?" Shaundi asked and Gat laughed  
  
"We always called him Playa back in Julius Little's day, and when he got promoted- we called him Boss."  
  
Their conversation was interrupted by the pitter-patter of Ocelots paws against the wood floors, he was whining and appeared to be ramping himself up to a pretty long barking fit.  Shaundi knelt down to scratch the pup behind his ears, he responded by shaking his entire body and sticking out his tongue.  
  
"I agree with Ocelot, this conversation is boring and it needs to end"  Boss said, his nervousness was at an all time high.  He was afraid Kinzie would blab his name.  When he first joined the Saints he made a promise to himself to never let anyone know his name, even went so far as to have his official records classified.  He had no idea how Kinzie even found it out, he thought it was best if he never knew how she did though, sometimes Kinzie scared him.  
  
But when he joined the Saints, he started a new life, and everything he knew before then just kind of fell away from him.  
  
"That's bullshit" he recalled Asha responding to his thoughts on his life before the Saints "You don't just stop being who you are, The Saints may be your family, but are they your identity?"  
  
He wondered if she wasn't right about it, he had latched onto the identity that he had in the Saints, without them he was a hopeless bartender.  Did that mean they enabled bad behavior?  Did that mean the Saints were responsible for his decent in society?  
  
God he was starting to sound like his own therapist. She didn't know his name either.  
  
Before he knew it, the gang was dispersing and he was going back down on the elevator with Kinzie, they had come to an agreement (despite Shaundi's near-constant disagreeing) on a get-together the next afternoon to devise a well thought out and carefully calculated plan in which nobody gets hurt, they find Pierce and everyone lives happily ever after.   
  
He turned to Kinzie when the elevator stopped on the ground floor and laughed "Don't tell the others, but I'm totally going to wing it"  
  
"You are not"  
  
"I so am"  
  
Kinzie shook her head "Where are you heading? You want me to drive you home?"  
  
"No.. I" He looked around on the off chance someone he knew was around and would hear him, when he confirmed Kinzie was the only person he knew within ear-shot he said "I actually have an appointment today."  
  
"Hell of a day for it" She smirked as he got in the passenger side of the car "Are you going to tell your therapist how mean your ex friends are?"  
  
"I just might Kinzie, I just might" He said, turning on the radio and chilling to the music while Kinzie drove off and away from the new Saints crib.  
  
  
  
  



	5. Placebo Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Boss has an appointment he can't miss.

His therapists office was small, almost claustrophobic in it's size. The lack of space made gave the illusion that the walls were closing in and crushing him. He never mentioned this to his therapist of course, she would just read too much into it.

"Hello Mister 'Doe'" She said, sarcastically using the last name he had insisted was his real birth given name. She was a nice enough lady, but he got the feeling she thought she should get more money for seeing a patient like him.

"Heya doc" He said, sitting on the couch and watching her write on her paper pad, after a few moments he broke the silence "I've always kind of wondered, what exactly are therapists writing?"

"I take notes during the sessions" She answered curtly

He arched an eyebrow "Come on Doc, why are you being so hostile today? You're usually nice to me"

"I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated with something personal. It was completely unprofessional of me to act that way to you just a little bit ago" She set her paper pad down and linked her fingers together under her chin "So what do you want to talk about today?"

"I've mentioned my friends here before, my old friends. Right?"

"Former gang members in the Saints, yes" She said, He wondered momentarily what she would say if he told her about Zinyak and the Devil, it honestly sounded insane to him, so he couldn't even imagine what it would sound to a professional.

Many of the people who lived here on Earth 2 didn't recall anything that had happened to them, they didn't remember being kidnapped or stored on Zinyak's mothership, He gathered quite quickly when they had made their new home here that maybe sometimes the disillusion is better than the truth, that and Shaundi had threatened to cut off something of his if he reminded the people of what horrors they endured and that everything they ever knew and loved had been destroyed.

He wondered what the people of New Steelport thought had happened, they didn't seem to retain any memories of the events of Zinyak's torments and possibly thought that their lives had continued on as if nothing had ever happened. Boss felt a twinge of jealousy at that, he wished he could pretend nothing had happened, but it was something that haunted him every damn day.

"They haven't spoken to me in about two years, they kicked me out of the gang but wouldn't even tell me why"

"Did you ever try to reach out to them?" She asked, clicking the button on her pin and writing something on her pad, possibly "Patient is crazy" over and over again.

"I did" He said "I tried to call Johnny, but... I mean it hurts you know, I was the leader. It felt like... they didn't even respect me"

"Do you honestly believe that they didn't, or are you just projecting your own insecurities? I have no formal knowledge of gang leadership, but it must be hard, And you... you have quite a storied past"

You have no idea, lady he thought.

"I think maybe we should discuss one of the most prominent things that happened to you, as I think it might be where many of your issues stem from. What happened all those years ago in Stilwater? How did you come to join the Saints, and who were you before?"

He simply shrugged "I don't think it's important who I was..."

"Right, because you became part of something bigger than that. So it stopped mattering, but now that the Saints is over, who are you? You can't be the Boss anymore, so you need to figure out how to stand on your own two feet again."

"Say you're right, say that I have been latching onto this persona for a really long time, because it's all I knew, because I was happier when I was with the Saints... how would I even begin to... to step away from all that?"

"It would help if you would admit to who you were, who you are. Can I have a name, please?"

He shifted uncomfortably "I don't.. really want to tell people my name"

"There is a reason for that" She said in a know-it-all tone. He supposed it was meant to be a comforting tone but he couldn't stand the smug psychiatrist look on her face, like she knew him better than he knew himself. Fuck that, he knew himself just about as much as he ought to.

"Well, it's mostly because I hate it"

"Is that the only reason?"

"I thought it wouldn't be gangsta enough"

"You have a friend named Pierce"

"Yeah but that brings to mind sharp objects, like shanks. I thought that was cool. My name doesn't do that, so I just kept it to myself"

She crossed her leg over the other and sighed, writing in her small notepad and occasionally adjusting her glasses, which reminded him of Kinzie. God, he couldn't imagine Kinzie would be a very good therapist.

"Alright, if you don't want to share your name with me, maybe you can share the first letter of your first name"

"Easy, it's E."

"Are you being honest?"

"Yes"

"To show that you are committed to this honesty, I would like you to share your whole initials"

Boss rolled his eyes "I don't see what that accomplishes"

"Well" She began "I believe that you have detached from your former life, and your unwillingness to share your true name with anyone is a reflection of that'

He had no idea if she was right or not, of course, but she was annoying. So he obliged simply to silence her insistent psychoanalyzing.

_"E. I. E"_

"That almost sounds like a joke"

"You should hear my full name" he said jokingly "I don't really understand what this exercise helps with."

"It shows trust between the you, the patient and me, the doctor."

"Okay, that sounds like bullshit but whatever. you're the doc" He said with a shrug

"Yes, I am the doc and it's wildly inappropriate for you to be swearing like that in this office"

"I survived a boat explosion, I don't need to censor myself."

She nodded and wrote something down on her paper pad "This is something I've been wanting to discuss with you, the boat incident, and the way you feel like you can do no wrong in the greater scheme of life. Taking what you want, doing what you want, no remorse, Is it not possible that you became so enamored by this life that when you and the Saints parted ways, you lost yourself?"

"I mean no shit sherlock" He said "Obviously I got off on the power. That's why I went apeshit on Julius Little all those years ago, but that explosion, nobody knows how much that changed who I was.. It made me reckless and terrified, so I acted like I was invincible"

She wrote in her pad "This is a really interesting breakthrough you're having here, You are being much more forthright with your emotions than you have in the past"

"I think it's all the drinking" He joked, well okay, it wasn't a joke; When he realized the Saints were gone and he was alone it made him think about what his life was without the Saints and he came to the conclusion that he didn't have much else, he drank a lot but he wasn't an alcoholic. The realization that he didn't have anything without the Saints sobered him up a lot. Ironically worded, but still the truth. It softened him a lot, it made him more open to....

He should be talking about this out loud to the woman with the paper pad.

_Nah_

"I guess so" he said instead, she nodded.

The next hour was filled with him refusing to talk about the boat explosion in detail with her, there were things he was willing to be more open about knowing they would never leave this room, but there were other things too.. Things he didn't want to have to relive.

"Everyone just sees me as the former leader of The Saints... Now that I'm not anymore, I guess I just feel like I'm washed up"

"You used that term more than once in our sessions, I know about Pierce Washington and his career as the face of the Saints years back, the commercialization of his image.. Would you say you were ever jealous of the attention he and Johnny Gat got? Even Shaundi?"

"Don't get me started on those assholes"

"You don't want to talk about your friends?" She asked

"Nope" He shook his head "shitheads"

"Language Mr 'Doe'" She said, tutting. "Well it's fine if you aren't ready to talk about certain things, our time is up anyway. Please consider thinking about the things we discussed in this session, and I'll see you next week" She got up to shake his hand and open the door "Next Wednesday, Please mark it on your calendar and give my office a call if you need anything" She reminded him before bustling him out of the door and shutting it behind him. She was obviously tired of him and ready for her next appointment, preferably one that didn't include as many G.D bombs as he dropped. It was just as well.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> His fake name he gave the therapist "Jon Doe" is an obvious reference to the name people are assigned to unidentified people, and a slight nod to Telltale's Batman game in which there is a character named "John Doe"


	6. The Rules of Extraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn when the boss gets derailed from his attempts to track Pierce.

The Very Next Day...   
  
"Okay so the plan is simple, I give you the coordinates for the tracking chip we have on the guy, you find him, sneakily... I mean this, Boss.  Do not kill the target.  This is a find and track mission, I want you to see his patterns, he might lead you to something we need to find Pierce."  
  
"Boring stealth, boring not killing a guy, boring mission. Why am I going again?" Boss asked   
  
"Yeah, why the fuck is he going?" Said Shaundi, standing behind Kinzie with her hands on her hips.   
  
"Because as much as you hate him right now Shaundi, he's incredibly good at being subtle"  Kinzie said  
  
Shaundi choked, if she had been drinking something at that moment she would have spit it out "Boss is not subtle"   
  
He shrugged "I don't know Shaundi, I've been known to creep in and out of a place before anyone knew I was there-"  
  
"Trust me, stealing all their alcohol and leaving a trail of dead bodies isn't as stealthy as you think it is" Shaundi said with a shake of her head "But whatever, lets just get this over with."  
  
"You'll be taking this with you so I can communicate with you while you are out in the field" Kinzie handed him what looked like a tiny hearing aid   
  
"What is this?" He asked, taking the small object and inspecting it "And also 'in the field'? What are we, spies?"  
  
"No, Boss you are the furthest thing from a spy, and that is a micro headphone and microphone set so that we can talk, I mean mostly me. I'll be doing the talking, feeding you information so you don't-"  
  
"Do something stupid, yeah.  Does this just go in my ear?" He tilted his head in confusion, not unlike the way a dog would.   
  
"No, it goes gently up your nose.  Of course it goes in your ear"  She turned to her computers "Now get out there and track our guy."  He got as far as the door before she spoke again "Boss, be careful out there.  This gang... There's something weird about them."  
  
"This ain't my first rodeo Kinzie, I'm sure I can handle myself if things take a turn"   
  
"Well they better not take a turn, that micro communcations device is the single most expensive thing that I own, and also I guess your life is pretty important"   
  
"Gee thanks" He said with a chuckle and left the dark apartment, he walked out  and was blinded by the huge ball of light in the sky. He felt his retinas burning and his eyeballs melting in his skull.  He blinked a couple times and stared at the ground to regain his eyesight.  When he did, he gently placed the device in his ear and wondered briefly how to turn it on  
  
"Boss, can you hear me?" Kinzie's voice came in crisp and clear   
  
"Loud and clear, it's a little weird hearing your voice in my head, brings back memories of Zinyak"   
  
"I'm not in your head, I'm in your ear, your head is not a place I would want to be"  
  
"Well I could say the same thing about you"   
  
"Okay, you want to check your phone, I've put the coordinates in your GPS, you should be able to see the tracking chips movements just as I can but there's a bit of a delay."   
  
He nodded before he realized nobody was actually around, and then he grabbed his phone out of his pocket "I've got my phone, I'm heading to the car"   
  
Sitting behind the wheel of the car Shaundi had "supplied", meaning 'what' exactly, he didn't know.  All he knew was that it had four wheels and was as slick as the butt of a new gun.   
  
That analogy doesn't work, but it didn't have to when he felt this goddamn great. He hadn't felt so alive in a long time, and he wasn't even doing anything yet.   
  
"God damn it feels good to be a gansta" He shook his head and whistled loudly as he reached for the radio, flipping around the stations until he heard a song he knew   
  
"Uh, Boss, the entire point of a covert stealthy operation is to not alert the target of your precencse"  
  
"Kinzie, the goddamn GPS says he's fourteen thousand meters away. I think I have time to get a few tunes in before-" The song on the radio changed and his eyes widened "Oh. my. god"  
  
"What is it, Boss?"  
  
"Sweet fucking home Alabama!" He shouted excitedly, he started the car as the song played and drove carefully through the streets of Steelport, screaming along to the music.   
  
Occasionally Kinzie would try to communicate with him, to tell him something important or just to tell him to shut up and stop singing, he ignored her either way.   
  
"Sweet home Alabama  
Where the skies are so blue  
SWEET HOME ALABAMA"  
  
"I wish I had a shock button on this thing" He heard Kinzie's voice in his ear.  
  
"LORD I'M COMING HOME TO YOU"   
  
"I just have to ask, do you know... that you are a terrible singer?"   
  
"Hey fuck you Kinzie, I'm great"  He tapped on the steering wheel in tune to the melody while waiting at a red light, usually he would speed past the red lights but he was on a special mission and decided to take it slow.   
  
"Great... at being bad" Kinzie said "And don't you think for a second I'm not going to record all of that and play it back at every chance I get"  
  
"Fine Kinzie, just remember about the poodle skirt"   
  
"I swear to god I will tell everyone your name"   
  
"Jesus christ, I'm just joking"   
  
"You have joked about that twice, the first time I punched you in the face, the second time I threatened to tell everyone your name, Do it again and you'll be in trouble"   
  
"God, All right.  Hey Kinzie, can you put Shaundi on?" Boss asked, turning the volume down on his car stereo  
  
"She asks why" He could almost hear her adjusting her glasses  
  
"Just wanna talk to her"  
  
A few moments passed in silence, Boss just driving down and whittling away the distance between him and the target, It was a nice day for driving at least. Steelport was often incredibly rainy during their summers but today was bright, sunny and not too warm.  In his personal opinion it was the best kind of weather.  
  
"Hey Boss" Shaundi's voice came through the communications device "I made a deal with Kinzie that I'd talk to you only if she left the room"  Boss turned the car to the left and waited at a red light before he could pass onto the next side street, which he was taking to avoid being spotted directly by the target.  
  
"Shaundi, if you wanted to have phone sex with me, you could have just asked nicely" He made a nice turn onto the next street, he missed driving around the city and feeling like he owned it, those feelings from all those years back were coming to him again, and he had to admit it felt great.  Though he's not sure he'd tell his therapist about it.  
  
"That is one thousand percent not the reason I wanted to talk to you"   
  
"Then what is it?"   
  
"There... is a reason beyond what Kinzie told you, why we stopped contacting you."   She said, her voice timid and slow as if she was carefully thinking about what she wanted to say before she said it, a trait that Boss didn't have.   
  
"Other than my being too unstable to be a leader?"   
  
"I didn't want you to... you know, get mad"   
  
"About... what Shaundi? Spit it out" He checked the GPS and he was close to his target, he was going to need to wrap this conversation up and get Kinzie back on the line soon.   
  
"Johnny and I have been dating for the last two years"  
  
The next couple of moments ocured as they do in action movies, everything seemed to slow down around him as he lost control of the steering wheel and the car wouldn't stop.    
  
The fear of having no control of the car flashed through his mind, he was horrified that he would spin right off the bridge. He tried to press down on the breaks but they were unresponsive to his movements, his thoughts were a jumbled mess and everything finally sped up as the car plowed into the side of a building, the cars airbag didn't deploy and he felt his face slam into the steering wheel.   
  
"Tchhh tchhh tch" garbled sounds were coming from his communications device but he couldn't seem to speak, he felt heavy.  The pain of the impact felt like the adrenaline often felt on a rollercoaster, the fear of knowing someone is following you and the pain of a thousand bricks slamming into your body at full speed.  
  
His head was throbbing, his heart was racing and it took him ages to realize the car had flipped and was now upside down, the only thing keeping him still was the seatbelt.     
  
"F-K" He struggled to speak. to say anything, "Shandi...." He croked, the response in his ear was a piercing crackle that indicated that the device was definently broken.   Blood fell from his mouth onto the roof of the car and he had a passing thought that Kinzie was going to be pissed at him.  
  
He blinked, now was a good time for a nap. He felt heavy, tired... He felt like his nose was broken. He closed his eyes and felt his conciousness slipping away.   
  
GET OUT OF THE CAR repeated loudly through his mind as he fell deeper into relaxation.  He opened his eyes and tried to take a breath, but his mouth was still filling with blood and his nose was overwhelmed with the smell of....  
  
What the fuck was that?  
  
His mind woke up and the adrealine kicked in, he was smelling gasoline leaking from his car.  He started freaking out and struggling to wrench himself out of the drivers seat  
  
He tried to speak again, nothing came out except a low gruff sound.  
  
"Tchh Boss tchhhh where tchhh are tchhh" He tried to make out what Shaundi's garbled voice was saying but the thing was scrambling too much, he wrestled in his seat until he could grab the seat-belt and unfasten it, bracing himself for the impact.  
  
It hurt a lot more than he thought, his shoulder felt like he slammed down three or four brick walls, his neck twisted in an uncomfortable way, he held out his hands to protect his already broken nose from any further damage.  He swallowed hard as the urge to vomit presented itself, it went away long enough for him to muster enough strength to kick out the drivers side window.    
  
He pushed off from the opposite side of the car and climbed carefully through the window, the glass slicing at his skin through his clothes, he grunted in pain as he got out onto the pavement.  He heard sirens in the distance and he knew there were cops coming, he needed to get the fuck out of there before they arrived.  He may not have been active in gang activity for years, but the cops of Steelport still had it out for him and even tried to bust him a couple months back for some trumped up charges.  
  
He crawled on the pavement, pushing himself forward as the sirens came ever closer.  He needed to get up, to get on foot.  He braced himself for the pain and put his weight on one foot while still crouching. It wasn't too bad so he stood up all the way, both legs wobbled under his weight but he was alright to walk, though it was a kind of limping stumble through the street.   
  
"Fuck" He grumbled, all too aware of his head pounding. He felt like he was going to throw up but he pushed it down again, managing to walk to a nearby alley.  He fell sideways against the alley wall and lurched over, feeling a mix of blood and bile rushing out through his mouth.  He gagged until he started dry heaving.   The sirens started blaring louder meaning they were getting a lot closer to his location.   He slumped down against the wall, holding his arm to his chest and catching his head so it didn't slam against anything.  He touched something wet in his hair, blood, of course.  
  
He couldn't rest here, he needed to get back to Kinzie's, or even Shaundi's... Somewhere, he didn't even know where the fuck he was right now.  He groaned and pushed himself back up to his feet, holding his side. Fuck, did he break his ribs?   He wiped his mouth and felt a wave of nausea. Which he held back yet again.    He tried to walk but fell back against the alley wall and finally succumbed to unconsciousness.  
  
__________________________  
  
When he came to he was so stiff he couldn't move, his head felt a little clearer though.  He opened his eyes and found his immediate surroundings to be unrecognizable.   
  
He saw posters lining the walls and the room smelled faintly of root beer and grass.   He blinked a couple of times and tried to get up when a figure appeared in the room.    
  
"No no no, don't get up! You're really wounded." a voice said as the figure rushed over to him to ease him back into a laying position, Boss grabbed the young man by his wrist "Look, kid I don't... I don't know who the fuck you are or where I am but I-"  
  
"You don't recognize me?" The kid raised his eyebrow "It's me! Jimmy!"   
  
"Jimmy the crazy ass kid who cloned Gat?"   
  
Jimmy nodded, as Boss's vision started to clear he could tell that the kid was in fact Jimmy, just a little older and not lisping anymore  
  
"I just didn't recognize you without the glasses or the lisp" He said with a shrug  
  
"When I was younger it turns out I had a deviated septum, when I came out of surgery for it, I sounded normal!"  
  
"Yeah sounded" Boss said, trying once again to get up  
  
"No no you can't get up" He said "You got shot"  
  
"I got shot?" Boss asked, he didn't remember anything after he passed out in the alley "When the fuck did I get shot?"  
  
"My guess is sometime between getting rammed off the road and hiding in the alley I found you in" Jimmy sat at the edge of the bed  
  
"You mind explaining what the hell is going on?"  
  
Jimmy hesitated "Yeah, so okay. I listen in on police radio because-"  
  
"Because you're insane, I get that. Go on"  
  
"Because it's a hobby" Jimmy corrected "And suddenly I hear all this chatter about a car accident and a man swerving off the road on main street, so I get my stuff and go to check it out.  The police were in your car checking shit out and they realized who you were"  
  
"How the hell did they do that?"  
  
"Your phone was in the car"  
  
"Shit" He said "God damn it" He pushed the sheets off of him and tried again to get up, Jimmy stopped him "You can't get up, you were in a car accident and you got shot"  
  
Boss remembered seeing a brief flash of someone on the road behind him when he was driving, right before he was taking a turn and right after Shaundi told him-  
  
"FUCK" He shouted, remembering  
  
"Really dropping the F-Bombs right now, aren't you?" Jimmy looked around nervously as if he expected a swat team to show up at any moment.   
Boss closed his eyes to focus on pulling back the memory but it was fragmented, he couldn't get a good look at the person's face, or maybe it was covered... He struggled to hold onto it, like a dream that was slowly slipping away in waking hours.   
  
"Shit, I remember...something... Before I got rammed off the road I felt a shooting pain here" he reached for his shoulder with his other hand, which was bruised up pretty badly.  There was crudely wrapped gauze on his shoulder "Jimmy.... is there where I got shot?"  
  
Jimmy nodded "When I found you, I called my friends right away to help me get you to safety"  
  
"And safety is?"  
  
"You're in a friends basement, we're just on the outskirts of steelport" He got up and motioned for the light "One of my friends is a nurse, It's logged in there pretty tight but she was able to help you so you won't feel the pain of it for a while"  
  
"So you're saying the bullet is still in there?"  
  
"We couldn't take it out! It's too risky"  
  
"All right Jimmy, I believe you. I'm just... fucking pissed that those assholes stole my phone"  
  
"What about the assassin?"  
  
"Obviously that too, turn that TV on. I want to see if there's anything on the news"  Jimmy turned on the vintage looking television and turned the dial a couple of times before it landed on the local news  
  
"A car accident turns deadly when a man swerves off the road to avoid an unknown assailant and subsequently dies from a gunshot wound" The woman behind the news desk said "I'm joined with Aria Jackson who is on the scene" The image switched to a younger looking, darker skinned woman with red hair falling past her shoulders.  Boss saw the hunk of wreckage that used to be his car behind her in the shot.  
  
"There have been no leads as to what went on here and why, the assailant has evaded the police and the victim is assumed dead, but police have been unable to find his body."  
  
the image switched again to the news anchor "And is there any positive release on the I.D of this victim?"  
  
"Police are working on a positive ID but at this time the man is simply known as Jon Doe"  Jimmy flipped the dial again and it landed on another news broadcast  
  
"The man known as the former leader of the infamous Stilwater gang The 3rd Street Saints has died"  
  
Boss choked on what he could only imagine was his own tongue, as he wasn't even drinking anything and his mouth was as dry as the Sahara.  "They think I'm DEAD?"  
  
The news continued "Police haven't identified the assailant, but a positive ID of the Saints boss has been found"  
  
Boss swore under his breath "Please don't say it, please don't say it"  
  
"Stilwater native, Elliot Ian Edwards, the enigmatic leader of the Saints and former president of the united states has been killed in what is presumably a former gang related experience"  
  
"Jimmy" Boss said slowly "Turn the fucking TV off" Jimmy obliged, but he had a grin on his face as if he had just gotten the best christmas present of all the kids on his block "Do you have a phone or something? I gotta call Shaundi"  
  
Jimmy shook his head "No, you can't call anyone! When I was there at the scene I heard the police talking about how they were going to use this as an excuse to kill you"  
  
"The cops want me dead?"  
  
"You were one of the most well known crime leaders, of course they want you dead. They didn't even look in the alley to find you, they assumed you'd escaped some other way and called it in that you were dead"  
  
"So they could get away with killing me themselves" Boss said, understanding "Son of a bitch, and now they broadcasted my name and I'm really pissed"  
  
Jimmy squealed with joy "I'm so excited! I can finally put a name to your face, to your heroic deeds, to your-"  
  
"Jimmy"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Shut the hell up"  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally found a name that fits for my Boss, and yes that title is a reference to Archer.


	7. Dead Man Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wouldn't think Boss would be able to get into so much trouble laying low, but that's exactly what happens when he finds himself caught up in a conspiracy that might end up getting him and the rest of the saints killed, provided they find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a small trigger warning because I mention attempted suicide in passing.

Boss had been hiding out for several days at Jimmy's friend's home, he felt a little bit like a prisoner being unable to leave the basement, and being fed scraps from whatever passed for dinner in this home. The homeowner was a college friend of Jimmy's, an avid and very loud console gamer who kept him up at all hours screaming about how many people he was tea-bagging.     
  
"I don't understand why I can't at least go upstairs" he had brought up to Jimmy on several occasions, to which Jimmy reminded him that there's a huge risk of him being found out by the nosy neighbors who were apparently fond of peaking in the windows and calling the cops.  
"So you have to stay down here"  
  
"Your friends shithead neighbors don't scare me" Boss said, pacing and cracking his knuckles "I could knock em out and be done with this whole shit show"  
  
  
"Really? Because not to sound like a doubting Nelly, but how long has it been since you've been a gang member?"  Jimmy asked.  
  
Boss didn't like Jimmy, he never liked Jimmy - the kid was always doing or saying something annoying, and almost exactly the same except the years since the last time Boss saw him seem to have turned him into a more mature nerd, but a nerd none the less.  
  
"Jimmy, I don't like you"  
  
"Fair enough, but you know I'm like the saints biggest fan, and i've been following your career for years, and when you stopped showing up...."  
  
"Wait a minute, back up for a second.  Are you saying that you knew I was out of the Saints before I did?"  
  
"You didn't know?"  
  
"I just thought... that they disbanded or something, I don't know, nobody ever called me"  He shrugged, Jimmy raised an eyebrow, his expression unconvinced  
  
"I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think you could hold your own anymore.  When I stopped riding a bike, it was really hard for me to get back to it"  
  
Boss sat down in one of the dust covered basement chairs and put his feet up on the table, his boots rattling the floor lamp.  "Jimmy, riding a bike is not the same as knocking jackasses out"    
  
Jimmy elbowed him in the knee "Off the table, this isn't your house dude" Boss gave him a look but relented and moved his legs "Look, I'm sorry Jimmy. I'm not a fan of being told what to do"  
  
This was true enough, but he couldn't help but think about how his career in crime started because with him being told what to do, there was always somebody above him issuing orders, Julius Little was the worst, and sometimes he still had nightmares about the night he killed him.   Just shot him right in the heart, he told himself time and time again that it was for revenge, that it was retribution for the shit Julius pulled, but sometimes he thought he just killed him to watch him die.  
  
That was when he started questioning his sanity, that was when he started wondering if he was a psycopath.  He spent weeks just wondering if he was okay, and he had nobody to talk to about it because Gat wasn't the talking-feelings type of friend, and the others saw him as the leader, and they were...He didn't want to say they were afraid of him, but maybe they were.  Maybe it's why he never made a friend in the Saints beside Johnny, Pierce and Shaundi.  
  
Shit, why was he getting so deep these days? He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes "Alright, if I'm not allowed to leave. What am I supposed to do?"  
  
"Wait until the heat is off"  
  
"It feels like the heat is already off, it's cold as hell down here"  
  
He chuckled at his own joke, this was the shit he missed. Being able to tell jokes to anyone who would listen, shitting around, he was so depressed that even Jimmy was becoming someone who he was midly intrigued to see each day.  
  
That wasn't a good sign.  
  
"Jimmy, get the hell out of here"  
  
"Okay!" He said "I'll keep up with the police radio chatter and report back tomorrow.  Remember, don't move, don't go upstairs, and don't put your feet on that table"  
  
Boss listened to the sounds of Jimmy's shoes going up the stairs, he put his feet back up on the table and grabbed the remote to flip through some channels.  It was mostly daytime TV shows and court TV.  But the news caught his attention, his picture was on the side display above a headline "Saints Boss Dead, Stilwater mourns"  
  
"Following the brutal death and assumed assassination of former leader of the Third Street Saints, Elliot Edwards, a police investigation has been launched to find the assassin.  Public response has been mixed, with some praising the death of Mr. Edwards, claiming that now the streets will be safe again." The screen cuts to various slideshow images of Steelport and stock footage of citizens walking around and then it went back to the news anchor.  
  
"What is your take on this, Brock?" She said, turning to her co-anchor who cleared his throat "I think that this is a complicated situation, the man was a former gang leader and he caused a lot of death and destruction in our fair city.  But, he was also the president of the united states"  
  
"That he was, Brock, that he was"  
  
"That asshole didn't even answer the question" Boss shook his head, he was worried about the others, Shaundi, Gat, Kinzie they were bound to have seen this news by now and there was no way for him to contact them without opening up a can of cop-related whoop ass on himself.  Why the fuck were the cops after him so hard? He'd been living clean for years, not even comiting a minor felony as he tended bar at the local establishment.   He knew there was more to this, he just needed proof.  But to get proof, he needed help.  
  
He turned off the TV and tossed the remote on the couch opposite him as he got up, He was going to get help, one way or another.   Ignoring Jimmy's constant warnings, Boss headed upstairs.  
  
"Hey!" the voice of Jimmy's burn out roomate shouted "You're not supposed to be up here. Cops looking for you"  
  
Boss calmly stepped towards the man and then rather uncalmly shoved him against the wall and put pressure on his neck by grabbing it as hard as he could "Listen here punk, I am not going to stay in this shit hole while my friends are out there thinking I'm dead, cops or no cops.  Now this is your house, figure out a way to get me out of here without anyone seeing me"  
  
The man gagged and spluttered a little bit as he struggled to speak, Boss still had his hand squeezing his throat tightly "If you're trying to say there's no way you can do that, I'm not going to let go"  
  
He flailed his arms in an attempt to stop his attacker, Boss didn't know this, but Jimmy's roomate became all too aware of his advantage as he kicked out at one of the most sensitive places a man can be kicked, Boss doubled over in pain.  He had his fair share of pain in his life, he's been shot, electrocuted, stabbed, shot again, survived a boat explosion, been crushed by any number of things, tackled by large angry brutes.  But this?  This was up there.  
  
He wheezed as Jimmy's roomate stood over him "That's exactly what I'd hope you'd do, you son of a bitch"  He spit on the man writhing in pain on the floor before continuing "We've been after you for quite a while Mr Edwards, were you aware of that?"  
  
Boss groaned and tried to get up, the wind had been knocked out of him and he felt like he was gasping for air but it just wouldn't come.  
  
"I suppose you're wondering what's going on.  Well it's simple, really.  I stayed behind and watched your little friend get you help, followed you idiots here and bided my time until I could knock out the idiot who owns this place and assume his identity"  
  
"I don't think you know what simple means" Boss said, still groaning with pain "Also, that's stupid. If you knew I was here, why didn't you just come down to get me!?"  
  
"We were waiting for the right time, Mr Edwards"  
  
"Two things, stop calling me that and what the fuck do you mean 'we'?" Boss finally started to feel the pain pulsing between his legs die down as his breathing steadied.  He pulled himself into a sitting position and looked up at the undercover cop.  
  
"Me and the boys down at the station, we've been waiting for a chance to get at you for years" He spit again, Boss groaned in disgust and tried to attack him, but before he could even make a move the cop pulled out his gun and pointed it directly at Boss' head  
  
"Right between the eyes, it'd be so fucking easy for me to pull this trigger right now and rid the world of your menace once and for all"  
  
"What the fuck are you talking about? I've been a goddamn bartender for the last three years"  
  
"Doesn't matter what you do now Mr Edwards, or can I call you Elliot?"  He kept his pistol pointed directly at the man on the floor, his finger hovering over the trigger.  
  
"Don't fucking call me anything!"  He said, the man started to put his finger down and Boss put up his hands "Don't shoot, I just... I would like to be in a more dignified place than the floor if you're going to splatter my blood everywhere"  He said, pushing himself up off the floor and stumbled over to the kitchen table, taking a seat as the man walked closer "You know they called you the most dangerous man in Stilwater?" He shook his head "But I don't see it, I think you're a coward. Elliot"  
  
Boss assessed his situation, was there any way out of this? Could he tackle the guy and steal his gun without any problem?  He looked at the chair and considered using it to knock the guy out, but his finger was hovering above the trigger and it'd be so easy for him to shoot off the gun if he was startled.  
  
"What do you think makes me a coward?" He said, crossing his arms  
  
"Well for one, you're not even trying to attack me"  
  
"You have a gun idiot" He put his feet up on the table "What exactly do you think is going to happen here?"  He asked "You shoot me, the neighbors call the cops"  
  
"Cops are in on it buddy, we can cover it up. Call it self defense"  
  
"Fair enough, what about the home owner"  
  
"We have drugs we can plant on his person" the cop said simply "Now there are two ways to do this, I shoot you right here and watch you choke to death on your own blood or you come with me"  
  
"Ooo I don't know, the first one sounds promising"  
  
The man hit Boss in the back of the head with a thwack of the gun's handle "Sarcasm is only going to make it hurt more, Elliot"  
  
"What happens if I don't go with you?" Boss asked, arms still crossed, expression smug as he could muster  
  
"I find all your little friends and kill them, Kinzie, Shaundi, Gat, Pierce.  So I suggest if you don't want to be signing for packages full of their various body parts, I'd come with me"  
  
"Jesus Christ, you're a fucking psychopath, you know that?"  
  
"Pot calling the kettle black, Mr Edwards"  
  
Boss pulled his legs off the table and stood up "Fine, fine. I'll go with you, but can you lighten up on the gun?"  
  
The man put his gun back in the holster and took out a pair of thick handcuffs, Boss gulped nervously "I... this is not what I had in mind"  
  
"Hands behind your back, asshole, I still have a gun"  Boss obliged and felt the cuffs clink shut, the inability to move his hands started the process of adrenaline rushing through his body, it was like being buried alive, he felt his heart beat racing and his head get foggy.  Shit, not now. He needed to be focused, to calm down.  This was fine,  He'd been handcuffed before and gotten out of it just fine..  He took a few deep breaths and followed the mysterious undercover cop, wondering what Jimmy would think when he next came to visit and found Boss missing, and his college-mate's unconscious body stored somewhere in the house.  
  
__________________________  
  
  
It's not as though Boss had never been in a police car before, but this time felt different, He knew he wasn't headed down to the station.  He was uncomfortable with his hands cuffed behind his back and getting increasingly worried that he wasn't going to be able to get his way out of this one.   If he could just figure out how to buy himself some more time, He tapped on the bars between him and the drivers side and the cop turned around "This will go a lot easier for you if you don't say a word"  
  
"I kind of get the feeling that things would go rough for me no matter how little I say, so I'm going to stick with talking.  You think you can get away with this? You think people aren't going to be looking for me?"  
  
"Why would they bother doing that? They think your dead, and good riddance to you.  Do you honestly truly believe your friends care about you?" Boss knew that he was trying to goad him on, to make him angry, but he couldn't stop himself from responding  
  
"Of course they do!"  
  
"You know, Mr Edwards... we are alone, you don't have to put on the act anymore"  
  
Boss rolled his eyes "What fucking act, what the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"You know the one, you've been playing the part for years.  How old were you when you joined the saints? Nineteen? That's a lot time to playing a bit"  
  
"I still don't know what the fu-" Boss started, but the man interrupted him, his eyes focused on the road.  
  
"The bit, Mr Edwards, you're a gangster, you are hardcore, brutal, you don't care.  But it's all a lie... It's always been a lie, you were just afraid, and you pretend you're not, but you've always been terrified"  
  
Boss sank back in the car seat, he wouldn't win any arguments here and he knew that talking back to the man would just cause more problems for him or the others later down the line, he closed his eyes and the car ride continued in silence for some time, He started wondering where the hell he was being taken since they must have passed the police station ages ago.   He wasn't about to ask, of course.  
  
It had been quite a while before the driver spoke again, so much so that what he said completely took Boss by surprise  
  
"I have all your records Mr Edwards, I know you were in a psych ward, I know you tried to kill yourself.   Maybe you should have done it, the world would have been better off without you"  
  
"Hey man, fuck you"  He said, anger rising "That's private fucking information. How do you know that?"  
  
"I have ways of finding out what I want.  I have a question for you, why did you do it? Was it because the chants of psychopath were becoming too much for your sensitive little ears to hear? Was it because you were sad about your home life? Was it because you feared you were going.... insane?"  
  
Boss swallowed, hard.  He felt a lump in his throat like his heart was beating up into it, he wanted to shout at the man, to scream, to grab him by the throat and -  
  
"I appear to have riled you up, Mr Edwards.  I can see that you are shaking.  Why don't you drop the act, it's okay to be human for once.  And I don't see why you shouldn't, do you want your last moments on earth to be fake? To be a lie?  Come on now, be honest."  
  
"Go to hell"  
  
"I would say the same thing to you Mr Edwards, but I don't have to, You'll be there soon enough"  
  
"Been there, done that. Don't plan on going back"  
  
"Our plans often have ways of getting changed, Elliot.  Now I have another question."  
  
Boss groaned and hit his fist against the bars, he wanted to strangle the man in the drivers seat until he was begging for his life, for air.... The anger that was flowing through him was palpable.  
  
"Does Shaundi know that you are in love with her?"  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Jimmy's an adult now, I've written him less annoying and grating than he was in the game, He's a college age student who shows up quite a bit to help the saints in this story. And don't worry, Boss will meet up with everyone once again.
> 
> The "cop" that took Boss in the car is not a cop, but he is part of the conspiracy to kill Boss.
> 
> Giving the Boss a name was hard work, I didn't know what fit him, But I really liked the name Elliot when I was watching scrubs one night and "Edwards" fits as a last name (Plus I'm being funny since Troy Baker's middle name is Edward)


	8. Righteous Sinners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boss gets himself captured by a man out for the Saint's blood, and is forced to relive the horrors of his past in a sick twisted emotional manipulation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quoted from SR2's mission Red Asphalt during Elliot's flashback, I of course embellished a little bit to make the scene stand out a bit more/make it more realistic. I'll be doing this throughout the fic. 
> 
> Kind of graphic violence warning. It gets worse in the next chapter as well.

"That got you to shut your mouth, didn't it?" the cop said, he was still driving down what seemed at this point to be an impossibly endless road.  Boss wondered if they were even in Steelport anymore.  He couldn't see anything out of the tinted windows.  
  
What kind of cop has tinted windows?  
  
"Nah, I'm just trying to figure out what kind of dumbass 'police officer' has tinted windows"  
  
"It's for privacy" The cop said simply  
  
"Yeah because that's not psychotic at all"  Boss felt the handcuffs start to dig into his back, Why couldn't the guy cuff him in the front? With all his experience in getting cuffed and thrown in the back of a car, he preferred being cuffed with his hands in the front.   
  
Focus, idiot, he thought. There had to be a way to get control of the situation. He looked down at his feet and then realized....   
  
"Do you need the privacy so you can take off people's heads in here and get away with it?"  Boss continued, trying to distract the driver   
  
"Very telling that this is the first idea you have.  No, Elliot, I unlike you, am not a barbarian"  
  
"Says the man who just tried to kill me" He said, struggling to get into a position where he wasn't extremely uncomfortable.  If only he was as good at lock picking as Johnny was, the man got himself out of handcuffs like a magician.   
  
"Says the man who has killed many innocent people and shows no remorse for any of it."  The cop said, his voice dripping with mirth, He thought he had Boss right where he wanted, he thought he had him emotionally compromised... But he was-  
  
"I have a question for you, Elliot.  Did you even shed a tear when you shot Carlos Mendoza right in the head? Or was that just another day in the park for you?"   
  
"Hey, you shut your goddamn mouth. I had no choice! He was going to die alone and in pain... He asked me to shoot him"   
  
"Couldn't bring him to a hospital, I take it." The man said, amusement in his voice "Or didn't want to, maybe it's just how you get off, watching other people die"   
  
He felt it, it was rising up in his throat like bile. He was so angry he could feel it shaking him, his head started spinning and he remembered the horror of that night...   
  
YEARS AGO:  
  
Boss was standing around waiting, "Man Carlos, where the fuck are you?" He said out loud as an old homeless man passed by, flashing open his coat.   Boss looked away, disgusted as the man walked on along the street in his socks.   
  
"ugh" He pulled out his phone and dialed Carlos' number, the line rung several times and then it clicked on "Carlos" He said "Where the fuck are you?"   
  
"I think your people skills need some work, Sweetie" It was Jessica, god damn it.  He didn't have time for this  
  
"Jessica, how'd ya like Maero's new tattoo" He said smugly, pacing around while on the call  
  
"Actually, I think it's pretty sexy... rugged. tough..."  
  
"Radioactive" Boss cut in  
  
"That's cute" Jessica said, a biting fake sweetness in her tone, everything about the woman was fake. She was wearing a mask to hide her true evil, just like they all were.  
  
"I try, now what the fuck do you want?"  He asked, losing patience with her  
  
"I just wanted to let you know that since you were nice enough to give my man a makeover, I'll return the favor, don't worry. by the time we're through with him, Carlos will look just as handsome as Maero"   
  
"Hey listen up you fucking bitch-"  
  
"Course" She continued "I don't have access to the same materials you did, but ya know. I figure we can make do"   
  
"When I find you-"  
  
"I'm sure you'll do something scary" Jessica said "Do me a favor, when you're scraping up your buddy's face. Just remember, Maero gave you a chance to be his partner"  
  
The line clicked and the call ended.  He shook himself "Shit, shit I have to... I have to go"   
  
He jumped back in his car and headed to the first place he knew he'd be able to beat answers out of.  Donnie's.   He needed to get there fast, there was no time to waste with this, Carlos was in trouble...   
  
The speed of the car and the slick road made it hard for him to make proper turns, He nearly crashed the car when he got to Donnie's, but he didn't care.   He got out of the  car and slammed the door shut  
  
"Fuck" He said, there were men outside waiting for him "I don't have time for this!" He shouted and raised his pistol, gunfire every which way finally let up after several minutes.  He saw Donnie rush into the back room of the garage "Son of a bitch!"  He chased after him and kicked the man in the shins   
  
"Oh god, you again!?"  Donnie screamed   
  
"Where did Maero take Carlos?!" He asked, giving the man a hard punch right to the jaw  
  
"I don't know where he is!" Donnie yelled   
  
"You don't tell me, Maero won't get the chance" He punched him in the face again, harder this time, this one would leave a mark.   
  
"Stop it!"   
  
"I'll stop, when you talk" He grabbed the mans arm and twisted it backwards, he could easily snap it in half if he wanted to.    
  
"Fuck you, I'm NOT helping you again"  He said, wincing through the pain, Boss thought he could almost see tears in the mans eye.  What a fucking coward.  
  
Boss twisted his arm harder "We're going to have a problem then"   
  
"Even if I knew anything, I wouldn't tell you" Donnie said, taking the opportunity to spit right in his attackers face,  Boss wiped it off and put his hand on the man's throat "Last fucking chance"  
  
"Fine, fine! I heard him say they were going to take him around the docks"   
  
"That's better" He punched him hard in the stomach and grabbed the back of his head, slamming him into the wall and knocking him out.  He had the information, now he just had to get to Maero before it was too late.  
  
He jumped in one of the cars in the garage, he didn't care who it belonged to, he sped down the road at break-neck pace, forcing himself to focus, forcing his anger down until Carlos was safe.   He sped down the road and spotted the truck.  "Oh my god...." He gasped as he saw that Carlos was chained to the back of the car and being strung along the road.    
  
The chase was rough, bullets were hitting the car as he struggled to catch up to the truck, the rain pattered down faster and he was losing control of his anger, shaking at the sight of what they did to Carlos....    
  
When he caught up behind the truck, he was able to shoot the driver from the window with a few well aimed shots and he jumped out to help his friend.   
  
It was bad... He saw Carlos, the kid was bruised and bloody, coughing up blood and unable to speak... "Shit" he said "Shit what do I do?"  He asked, who the fuck was he asking? Nobody was around "Come on" He looked around, listless and lost. His heart pounding, racing... Thumping in his ears, almost louder than the rain.  
  
He tried to pull Carlos free but all it accomplished was yanking on the chain attached from his foot to the back of the truck,  He screamed "Someone! Anyone, HELP"   
  
Nobody for miles, he was all alone.... He wouldn't be able to get Carlos to a hospital with this much blood loss... Assuming he'd even be able to free him.  
  
No, no don't think like that.  Gotta stay calm, gotta be cool.   He took a breath, Carlos was groaning in agonizing pain and writhing on the ground....    
  
Boss felt himself losing it, he looked at the chain on the car, trying to kick it loose with all his might but it wouldn't fucking budge.   He kicked once more and lost his balance, falling onto his knees on the pavement.   
  
Fighting back waves of nausea he rose to his feet, he walked over slowly to Carlos and knelt beside his friend, taking his hand.  Carlos' face was covered in blood and mangled to hell, his eyes spoke the understanding he couldn't... Asked the question he couldn't... Said the goodbye that he couldn't.  
  
Boss squeezed the kids hand tightly as he pulled his gun out and shot him twice in the head.  The rain was pouring now and blood started to pool around him and Carlos' now dead body.  
  
He stayed there until he wasn't able to stay there anymore, until he could get back home, until he could change clothes from the ones stained with blood and vomit, until he could drink himself to sleep.  
  
PRESENT DAY  
  
"You shut your goddamn mouth" Boss said, "He was going to die there alone, and in pain"  
  
"Everyone has a choice, Elliot. You've chosen to become a brutal killer.  They don't call you the butcher of Stilwater for nothing.  What about Lin?"  
  
"You son of a bitch!" He kicked out with all his strength against the drivers seat, the force shoved the man forward and into the steering wheel "Nice try Elliot, but you're just proving my point"  
  
"I'm going to fucking kill you, you don't get to talk about Lin and Carlos, you don't know what it was like" His voice was breaking and resolve fading away, this was what the asshole wanted but he couldn't keep himself steady.     
  
The driver wiped the blood away from his nose and put his hands right on the steering wheel. He pulled over into an empty parking garage and opened the drivers side door. Coming around to the passengers side, he grabbed Boss by his hair without saying another word.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Boss was in what looked like an abandoned warehouse. His nose was blooded and bruised but the cop looked like he was just getting started.  He was no longer simply handcuffed, he was tied to a chair in the middle of the warehouse and each smack or hit against him echoed loudly off the walls.  He coughed as the man was coming closer for another round.   He pulled Boss by his hair to look at him "I want you to look me in the eyes while I'm beating you to a bloody pulp"  
  
He said nothing.  He already broke his resolve once and let his emotions control him, it wouldn't happen again.    
  
"Giving the silent treatment? We'll see how long that lasts" He took a swing at him and missed, hitting his fist hard against the chair instead "Shit!" He shouted out  
  
Boss stiffled a laugh as the man cradled his bruised hand and tried to shake off the pain "Don't get fucking smart with me" He rubbed his knuckles "You're not going to make it out of here alive."  He took this moment to walk to the far end of the warehouse which seemed to be furnished, bookshelves lined the walls and a carpet was laid out.   He grabbed something from one of the tables and brought it back over to Boss.    
  
"I'm going to make a phonecall, and you're going to talk.  Say the wrong thing, and I will kill you, Understood?"  He nodded as the man dialed the call and put near Boss' face.  
  
"Hello?" Shaundi's voice came over the line, she sounded tired.  He felt a lump in his throat making it impossible for him to form sentences, the cop elbowed him in the knee and showed he was holding little cards in his other hand.  Cue cards.  They were all written in a neat scrawl.  He reluctantly started reading them out to Shaundi over the call.  
  
"Shaundi, The news reports are wrong. I'm fine.  I think I may have found out some information on Pierce" He swallowed hard and looked at the cop. The man nodded darkly.  Boss struggled to continue speaking, he didn't want to lead Shaundi and the others right into a trap but if he didn't speak he would die.  And then he remembered something.  
  
Back in the days of STAG after Shaundi had gotten kidnapped by Kia in an attempt to get leverage with the Saints, they had come up with a shorthand way to notify another of trouble if they were compromised.     
  
"Boss? Oh my fucking god! I knew it, I knew you couldn't be dead. I was telling everyone that you weren't dead, Not you, it just wasn't possible.  Shit I'm so glad you're okay. Where are you?"  
  
The cop turned the card over and Boss began reading it out, slow and monotone, making it obvious he was reading off a script, he only hoped that Shaundi would be able to pick up on it before she fell for the trap.  "Yes, I am fine Shaundi, I need you to come meet me"  
  
"You found out about Pierce?" She asked, the connection seemed to be cutting in and out because her voice was muffled sounding  
  
He continued reading from the cards, god this was so badly written he'd be shocked if Shaundi didn't know there was something wrong "I need you to meet me"  
  
"Oh" She said, "Uh okay, Um. Where do you want to meet?"  
  
He squinted to see the address, it was almost impossible to read in the man's handwriting "The corner of third west, in front of the old strip club" He raised an eyebrow and mouthed "Really? What the fuck dude?" The cop smacked him in the back of the head.  
  
"Yes that is where I want you to meet me, Goodbye Shaundi" he read the final sentence on the card and the man hung up the phone before Shaundi could even respond.   He sighed "Now we just have to wait"  
  
"You really think Shaundi is that dumb that she's going to just come where you want? Why the fuck would I want to meet her outside an old strip club?"  
  
"You watch your tone, Elliot" He said in what Boss had to assume was his 'threatening' voice, but it just made him sound like an angry Muppet gargling.  
  
"Hey we never had a chance to talk about that, I would really prefer if you... didn't call me that"  
  
Boss didn't even have time to blink before the man had a knife at his throat "You think that you're smart, that you're funny. Justified in all the fucking shit you and your little friends do.  But guess what Elliot" He said, putting a furious emphasis on Boss' name while pressing the knife into the skin of his neck.   He'd been in worse situations before, he'd been shot, stabbed, blown up in a boat... He knew that he'd be able to get out of this.  
  
But what if he didn't?  
  
The thought crawled up his spine like a curious spider and rested in his brain, repeating itself over and over again until it was the only thing echoing in his mind, this man had a crazy in his eyes that rivaled anything Boss had ever seen, he was out for blood, the Saints blood.  And he wasn't going to rest until he got it.  
  
  
  



	9. Semi Charmed Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tables turn on Boss as he finds himself in a hostage situation, kept as a prisoner and tortured, will he be able to retain his sanity as the man who captured him tries to break him?

It had been days, days of absolute torture. Boss had never endured such brutal physical and emotional abuse in all of his years being a gang member. And he'd been through a lot.

The second day of his capture, Mr. No Name showed him photos of Lin. The fact that he knew so much about Boss' past and his friends who had been lost was frightening, but it was more frightening how committed he was to breaking Boss down completely.

"Did you know she had dreams, Mr Edwards?" He had said, he often switched between the formality of using his last name and the personal nature of using his first name, as if he and Boss were old friends. There were times Boss wondered if this wasn't someone from the Saint's past who was coming back for revenge, it all seemed so personal... But he couldn't remember the man's face.

All Boss could do was look away from the pictures, the smiling face of the former best street racer in all of Stilwater. "She wanted to be something, something more than just a gang-banger"

"And then you came along, Elliot."

"You want me to have some kind of reaction?" He said blankly "What's the point of all this?"

"To make you feel bad" He said, reaching over for another photo, this time it was Shaundi "Do you ever feel regret that you destroyed this girl's life?"

He couldn't look away this time, This time he couldn't look away, he couldn't pretend that the man wasn't starting to get to him, a part of him had always wondered if Shaundi had never joined the Saints... Would her life had gone any better?

He was the one who convinced Shaundi to join all those years ago, she was a college attending burnout and he remembered the nights they'd spend hanging out at the crib, smoking together and talking about their dreams for the future. She told him that she wanted to work as a teacher when she was a kid.

"I didn't, we didn't. The Saints are a family. Shaundi is her own person, and if she grew uncomfortable with any of the shit we did she could have left. We never would have kept her"

"But you would have been pissed, right? Because she's your girl?"

Boss rolled his eyes to the ceiling and took a deep breath in through his nose and out through "Can we just back to the physical torture? This attempt at emotional blackmail is laughable"

"Okay, well let me try something else." He tore the photo of Shaundi right down the middle "I'm going to capture her, and all of your other friends and I am going to slit their throats." He dropped the pieces of the photo to the floor "And I'm going to make you watch"

"Disturbing, but it's not going to happen. I can't logically be distraught over something that won't happen, because either I'll get free and kick you in the mouth or Shaundi will snap your neck"

The cop smirked and leaned in to whisper in Boss' ear "Shaundi's kind of hot, in a slutty way... Think I'll take her for a ride before I kill her"

Boss closed his eyes, willing himself to breathe, to stay calm. If his hands were free he would choke this asshole until he dropped dead on the floor. But no, no that's too good for this jackass.

"Your resolve is stronger than I thought, Elliot. But I will break you, and that is a promise"

"I'm absolutely terrified" Boss said, deadpan.

* * * * *

Two weeks had passed and Boss didn't have time to heal from any of his injuries before the man gave him new ones. He was so thirsty, and so hungry... Occasionally the man would give him water so he "Wouldn't die just yet" but it was like his mouth was a desert and if he didn't die from the brutal almost daily beatings, he would die from starvation.

The fact that Shaundi never went to the meeting location that was suggested in the phone call they had over two weeks ago was a good sign, It means Shaundi knew something was up... But... if she knew something was wrong, why was it taking so long for her and the others to figure out where he was?

"Good news, Elliot" The man said, coming in for the first time today. It was mid-afternoon. Sometimes he would go hours without showing up and those breaks were the only time Boss could have moments to himself, he kept up a good front in front of this asshole but it was really breaking his spirit. He was afraid nobody was coming for him.

"You're going to stop calling me Elliot?"

He sauntered closer to the chair that Boss was bound to and knocked him on his back, Boss grunted in pain as the various bruises and sprains became more apparent with the impact "Fuck!" He shouted "Jesus Christ, you asshole. You know our goddamn thing, I make smart ass comments and you-"

"Beat the fuck out of you?"

"Yeah, it's getting really fucking old. Don't you have friends?"

"I do" He knelt near Boss' head and cracked his knuckles "That's my news. We found Kinzie Kensington" Boss swallowed hard

"You're bluffing" He said

He pulled his cell phone out and dialed something, Boss heard it ring several times and a man picked up, "Hey, put the girl on" He commanded the man on the other line and put the phone to Boss' ear

"Hello?" Kinzie's voice, she sounded as tired as he felt

"Kinzie" He said softly "Kinzie what are they doing to you?"

"The usual kidnapping schtick. Threatening to kill me, Pulling my hair rougher than I want them to, kicking me like a soda can on the street"

"You listen to me Kinzie, I'm going to find a way out of this and I'm going to get these assholes back" The man pulled the phone away and Boss screamed out "Kinzie, quick. Tell me about Shaundi"

"They've got her here too, they brought her in after me and they keep her separate. I haven't seen her since they brought her in, But, She's Shaundi."

"Say goodbye, Elliot" The man said angrily, throwing the phone against the opposite wall. Boss laid there, emotionless, the sound of his heart thudding in his ears as he tried to move his hands, of course it wouldn't work. The man knelt back down and pulled his head forward by his hair, dragging him across the room and putting the chair upright, slamming him against the wall "How many times do I have to tell you, you are not getting out of here... You and your little friends are going to die. I'm having them brought over here soon. I'll kill Shaundi first"

"Don't you fucking touch her" He spat, his voice trembling

"Why... is the stoic Elliot finally reaching a breaking point?" He said with a smile, he bent forward. His face mere inches from Boss' "I'll slit her throat in front of you, so you can watch her die and know you were responsible for it. Just another to add to the list."

"Stop" Boss said, the exhaustion and pain were getting to him, breaking him. "Please stop, do whatever you want to me... Just not my friends, not Shaundi"

"Why should I stop now? The fun is just beginning. You know her better than I do, do you think Shaundi would give me a blow job before I plunge a knife through her stomach?"

"Please" He said again, "Please... Let them go..."

"We'll see how things go, I'm not making any promises" He straightened and brushed off the dust from the floor of the warehouse off his outfit. He headed to the far end of the warehouse where Boss assumed the exit was.

"Shaundi" He whispered, tears running down his bruised and dirt covered face.

It all came crashing down around him, the weeks of torment, the bruises, the constant reminders of Carlos and Lin and his never-ending guilt He was living in a nightmare on repeat and the only relief was in his dreams, if he was even able to sleep. He didn't know how long the cop would be gone for, but he knew all he could do was sit and wait, sobbing gently in the dark warehouse.

It was in week four that Boss finally got his chance at escape, at revenge, and at saving the others. He had endured consistent torment from the alleged cop, the man would come twice daily and would bring water, which Boss had been grateful at first, cop man brought water every afternoon and every night, it wasn't until Boss started feeling dizzy, having hallucinations and occasionally having seizures that he realized something was wrong with his water.

The man came up to the chair, now located at the far end of the dirty abandoned warehouse and smacked Boss awake "Rise and shine cupcake" Boss felt his stomach lurch but he knew there was nothing he could throw up as he hadn't eaten in weeks. He looked up at the man, the room was spinning and he could barely hear what was being said

"Mmmboobmm bmmm mmmbm" The man said, seemingly confident in his words. Boss felt his heartbeat quicken and his vision glaze over, like the flickering of a broken television screen. "Mmmhm?" The man asked. Boss started breathing quicker, he felt like he was going to explode right there in the chair "What the fuck?" He said out loud, his mouth was so dry even though he had been regularly getting water.

The water

"You SON of a bitch!" He screamed "you fucking drugged me" He slurred his words and rocked back and forth in the chair, the man leaned down with a smile and put his hand on Boss' shoulder "Elliot, I have no idea what you're talking about"

"What did you- what did you fucking put in my water?"

"Just a low-grade amphetamine dosage, don't worry. It's not enough to kill you. Just enough to get you addicted."

"You sick fucking bastard" His stomach lurched again and he gathered all his strength to pull the chair forward and headbutt the cop as hard as he could. Both he and the man fell to the ground, Boss struggled against the cuffs and saw the man start towards him "You're in a lot of trouble, Elliot"

Boss instinctively kicked out and his shoe met with the mans face in a sickening crunch that meant he had hit right against the nose and very likely broke it. He saw a glint out of the corner of his eye on the floor, the cuff keys... They had fallen out of the man's pocket during the commotion. He looked at the cop, he was cradling his broken nose and wincing in pain. He had enough time if he positioned himself just right he'd be able to inch forward just enough to grab the key with his fingers and work the lock until his hands were free.

"No, you fucking don't," The cop said, realizing what was happening a little too late, as Boss had already inched to the key and managed with some difficulty to grasp it between his pinky and ring fingers. He brandished his foot again "Don't you make me do it again asshole" Cop was crawling towards him, Boss didn't notice it at first but the impact of the fall must have sprained the man's ankle. He took advantage of this knowledge and kicked as hard as he could against the man's face again.

"Fuck!" He shouted, his two front teeth had been shattered by the force and fell onto the warehouse floor, along with the blood from his broken nose. Boss had just enough time to guide the key into the cuff lock and broke free of his cuffs, at last, his hands were incredibly sore and he struggled to move them. He was running on pure adrenaline as he pulled away from the chair and crawled to one of the tables the man had kept going back to during the "torture sessions". It was covered in weapons, knives and other things the cop had used to physically break him during his hold. He pulled himself up and struggled to stay steady on his atrophy ridden leg muscles, from the extensive inactivity and lack of food. He was swaying as he reached over the table for the first gun he saw. He grabbed it and pointed it over the man's body.

The man, writing in pain on the floor laughed, he actually fucking laughed. It made Boss want to shoot him even more. "Elliot, Dear Elliot... you know if you kill me, you're going to prove me right. You're nothing but a cold blooded killer"

Boss was shaking, his aim was off and he was sure his knees would buckle under his weight at any second, but he kept a firm grip on the gun and came closer to the man who had tormented him for weeks "Didn't I tell you to stop fucking calling me that?" he held the gun to the mans head, his breathing was as shaky as his body and he felt like he could lose consciousness at any minute. He had to act fast

"Guess I should tell you now then," Cop said with a smirk "Shaundi was just as easy as I thought she'd be" He coughed up the blood from his nose and spit it onto Boss' shoes, "Told her if she didn't fuck me, I'd slice your little throat"

"I have a gun to your fucking head," Boss said furiously "Maybe you don't understand what is happening here, but there's been a power dynamic change"

"You're not going to shoot me, Elliot," He said gently as if he really and truly believed that "If you shoot me, you're a killer. Can you live with being the man with no remorse? Will I join the gallery of murders you've committed? Will you keep my head on a pike with Lin and Carlos?" Boss took this moment to hit the man hard over the head with the gun, it didn't knock him out but it did relieve some of the anger, standing over this man who had held him hostage for weeks, who had tormented him emotionally and physically... who fucking drugged him.

Boss felt his nose start to bleed, the room was spinning... Shit, he watched as the man in front of him flickered in his vision Do it now.

"Will you ache for the bloodlust and go on a rampage?" The man asked, "Will you go off and kill your friends because you want to satiate your disturbed fetish"

"No, I'm pretty much just going to kill you" He swallowed hard, his mouth was so dry and his breath was coming in ragged and his vision was cutting in and out. He swayed on his feet, he had to take the shot. Now, NOW. He pulled the trigger of the gun and shot the man right in the stomach. He pulled it again and shot him in the leg, He then fell to his knees over the man and pounded his fists against any part of the man he could feel. His head was aching, his eyes were burning and his stomach felt like he had been on a roller coaster for hours.

"You son of a bitch!" He said, slurring "You fucking sick bastard. You hurt my friends, You hurt Shaundi and you're going to fucking pay" He beat the man as brutally as he could muster with his lack of strength and then grabbed the gun quickly, putting it into the man's mouth "Say goodbye you son of a bitch" he unloaded the clip into the man's mouth and the body underneath him went limp, blood was splattering in all directions and Boss knew he was dead but he couldn't stop shooting him, and when he finally ran out of bullets, he punched the man beneath him with all his strength, breaking his jaw, knocking out his teeth. His hands were covered in blood as he finally calmed down and pushed himself off the body.

He lay there on the warehouse floor, bruised, bloody and sick to his stomach as the amphetamines coursed through his body, he knew he needed to get up, to move... But he couldn't. He didn't have the strength. He threw up until he couldn't anymore, gagged when the bile stopped coming, he felt the burning in his mouth until he couldn't anymore, and finally lost consciousness. stained with blood and vomit.

* * * *   
He had no idea how long it had been when he woke up again, but the smell of previous vomit and stained blood made him want to throw up again, though he was physically incapable of doing so. He pushed himself to his knees and then to a standing position as he surveyed the room. A dim light was coming in through the windows, it must have been close to evening, but what day? Had it been very long since had killed the bastard cop? He stumbled over to the table and grabbed a pistol, tucking it into his bloodstained pockets and leaning over the body to search his pockets. He found the cops phone loaded with text messages

"Shit, the red-haired girl bit off my finger and her and the brunette escaped, We sent out patrols but haven't been able to find them. They might come for their friend, watch out." Boss pocketed the phone and staggered to the exit for the warehouse, finding himself back in the place the cop had parked his car when he brought him over. He found his phone in the glove compartment, likely taken by the cop at the site of the car crash he had been in weeks previously. He tried dialing Shaundi.

It rang and rang, until finally "Hello?" Shaundi's voice again. "Who is this?" Boss bit his bottom lip to stop himself from weeping "Shaundi" He said, his voice barely a croak.

"Boss?!" She said "Oh my fucking god, where are you? Kinzie and I... We were able to escape, we're looking for you"

"I'm in... uh some abandoned warehouse, I escaped... The cop is dead"

"Dead?"

"I killed him, I shot him... I beat him, he's dead"

"Tell me where it is on the GPS and Kinzie and I will be right there," She said, her voice sounded breathless

He opened the map on his phone, the GPS location was marked right where he was standing and he relayed the information to Shaundi "We're on our way, hold tight Boss" The call ended and Boss stayed there in the car, waiting for his friends, waiting for the throbbing in his head to stop.

He must have fallen asleep because he was woken maybe an hour later by tapping on the police car window. He jumped back and rubbed his eyes, Shaundi and Kinzie were standing outside the car, rain was coming down and the two of them were soaked to the bone, covered in bruises and looked skinnier than he had ever seen either of them. He undid the locks on the car doors and let them in. Shaundi sat beside him in the back and Kinzie sat up front.

"Hey boss," She said, wearily

"How the fuck did you two get out of there?" He asked, ignoring the man's words running through his head about how he had forced Shaundi to... to...

"Kinzie, she had this great plan. She made a lot of noise so the guard would come to her and then she bit off his finger"

"It tasted bad," Kinzie said from the front

"God damn Kinzie, fucking props." He took a breath "You two had guards? I only had the one cop come for me"

"Officer Sullivan," She said "That's his name.. was... He came for all of us, split his time between Kinzie and me, then going over to wherever he had Pierce held"

"Huh, guess he saw to me personally"

"He talked about you a lot," Kinzie said "He was really gruesome in his..descriptions. Did he really drug you?"

Boss nodded "He'd been putting amps in my water. I wasn't being fed either, so they were and still are really fucking me up." He took a breath "Any info on Pierce?"

"We know that he's not being held in Steelport, they brought him back to Stilwater," Shaundi said, rubbing her wrist. Boss could see that she had been tied with rope instead of restrained by cuffs as he was "We need more to go on than that though' she added

"We should get out of here," Kinzie said

"Are you okay to drive, Kinzie?" Shaundi asked "I can take the wheel if you want to get some rest back here"

"Thanks, I don't think I should drive with this dizziness anyway"

"We have to get the keys from inside the warehouse" Boss said, Shaundi nodded and they both left the car to go retrieve the keys. The place smelled worse than Boss remembered and tiny mice were now surrounding the dead body of the cop, ripping off tiny bits of him with their bared teeth and filling the room with the sound of their loud squeaks.

"Jesus Christ," Shaundi said, "What did he do to you in here?"

Boss looked down "Let's just get the keys and go"

"Boss?" Shaundi asked

"Shaundi, I haven't... killed anyone in seven years, back when we did that mission with Asha, nothing since then, the simulation didn't count, none of it was real." He leaned over the gross corpse and grabbed the police cruiser keys, going to lean against the wall near the torture tool table, Shaundi sat on an upturned bucket and looked up at him.

"Hey, uh...Shaundi... " He said after a few moments of silence "You ever regret any of this?"

"What?"

"This...joining the saints...being a part of this life"

"I don't know...i guess I never really gave it much thought. Do you regret it?"

He looks down..."There are things I...regret" before he can stop himself he begins to cry...He looks away, ashamed and wipes his face.

"You don't have to pretend you don't have emotions, Boss" Shaundi said, getting up off the bucket and leaning beside him against the table "I've known you for a long time and I know you're not just a gangbanger... You're human"

Boss smiled "Heh...I've always felt like I could be myself around you... Even more than Johnny... If you can believe that. I think it's because you were so carefree...you got me. You didn't judge me"

Shaundi crossed her arms "Do you think that I'm not as great because I'm not so carefree anymore? Because I'm grown up, bitter?"

"Fuck no, you're still my girl," He said, pulling her closer to him in a hug that the both of them desperately needed at that moment. Shaundi cried into his chest as he held her "I'm so glad you're not dead, Boss" She said

"We should get back to the car and get the hell out of here," He said

"No doubt about that" She agreed

And so the two of them headed back out to the police car, Shaundi behind the wheel and Boss sitting in the passenger seat, while Kinzie took a much-needed nap in the back. The Saints were back, and they were pissed.

 


	10. Moving In Stasis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Saints try to recover from what happened to them, while struggling with their own issues with each other.

_**1997: Stilwater**_  
  
He blinked twice but couldn't get the dust out of his eyes, it was his first venture into the attic since he was six years old. And he regretted it.  It looked like an abandoned attic in a haunted house, his parents never came up here for anything except old furniture, mostly dusty lawn chairs.   He coughed as the dust seemed to fly right down his throat  
  
"Elliot" a voice called for him from downstairs, It was his father.  Elliot groaned and quickly jumped down the ladder back onto the landing.  "Elliot!" His father called him again.  He brushed the dust off his jeans and took the staircase downstairs two steps at a time.  He found his father in the kitchen, looking through the freezer.  
  
"Elliot, what the hell is this?" His father's muffled voice asked as he pulled out a tray of frozen stretched out condoms he had stolen from his father's sock drawer  
  
"It's... water balloons" He answered truthfully  
  
His father raised an eyebrow "You... think these are balloons?"  
  
Elliot shook his head, his father did as well but for an entirely different reason as he sat at the table "Elliot, come sit. We need to talk about something"  
  
"As hard as it is for you to believe, I already know what condoms are for, I also know the words pussy and balls. You gonna ground me?"   He sat down anyway and absentmindedly played with the pepper and looked at his father  
  
"Stop kidding around Elliot, I'm being serious"  
  
"Who died?"  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you? Nobody died. I just need you to go over to your grandpa's for the week.  I'm going to be out of town for work and your mother is-"  
  
"Still 'at her parents'" Elliot said "Yeah, I get it. I don't wanna go to grandpas.  The last time I was there, he didn't even make me dinner, he made me eat shoe polish"  
  
"Well you didn't die, did you?"  His father said with a chuckle "He's an old man, Elliot.  He can't be alone"  
  
"Why can't I be alone? I'm ten"  
  
His father glared at him "Just go upstairs and pack your shit, It wouldn't kill you to spend some time with him"  
  
"Fine, whatever" Elliot said, getting up and heading up to his room.  He had started to pack, his intention was to go to his grandfather's home and bitch about it the entire time but, he saw the bathroom door from his mirror and it was as if a light-bulb had clicked on over his head. He had a better idea.   he left his suitcase on his bed and headed to the bathroom, turning the light on and opening the medicine cupboard.  There were dozens of prescription pill bottles, some of them hadn't been opened since his mother bailed on them and headed to her parents.  
  
"It was only temporary" She had said, it had been six weeks since she said it.  
  
He needed the right kind of pills, something to make him sick enough to not go to his grandpa's, but not sick enough to go to an early grave.  He grabbed one bottle that seemed to have had the label worn over time.  "Well, here goes nothing" He dumped the bottle in his mouth, ten pills.  He had absolutely no idea what he just took, but when the stomach cramps started fifteen minutes later, he almost wished he hadn't taken them at all.  
  
Though it did get him out of going to his grandpa's  
  
_**Present Day**_  
  
Boss looked at himself in the mirror, the weeks of capture had done a number on him. He looked bruised, beaten, thinner than before.  He blinked a couple times, his eyes were still not used to the bright light of day, it was almost like someone had lit a match on his eyeballs.  It burned.     
  
He opened the medicine chest and grabbed a bottle of pain pills, slipping two into his mouth and swallowing them without any water.  He would need a lot of pills to deal with this pain.  But the label only said "Take two", and he didn't feel like facing the wrath of the side effects.  
  
He Kinzie and Shaundi had several days to recover from their stint as hostages, laying low at one of their old cribs.  When they weren't relaxing they were trying to find any information on Gat and Pierce's whereabouts.  
  
"Why didn't these assholes just put us in the same place?" Boss asked one afternoon, sitting on the couch with the television blaring in the background while he played a puzzle game on his phone.  Kinzie was on her laptop and Shaundi was laying on the opposite couch with a cool rag over her head.  
  
"These assholes are gonna pay for this" Shaundi said, sitting up and causing the rag to fall into her lap "What they did, especially to you Boss..." She made a fist in anger "I just want to find the bastards responsible for this and punch them until they bleed"  
  
She started a conversation with Kinzie that Boss wasn't paying attention to, everything sounded muffled as he focused on his phone.   He was still recovering from his abuse and the vicious beating he had been through days prior.  That and the drug overdose.  He leaned back on the couch and yawned, setting his phone down to rub his eyes.    
  
He was exhausted and wasn't getting nearly enough sleep.  It had been four days since Shaundi and Kinzie came to find him, four days since he brutally murdered the man who had held him hostage, the three had stayed camped out on the floor of the penthouse living room.  
  
"You agree, right Boss?" Shaundi said, clearing referring to something he didn't hear.  He raised an eyebrow "Uh.. yeah sure"  
  
"You didn't hear a god damn thing I said, did you?" Shaundi said, getting up off the couch and smacking him on the head "Don't you want to get back at these assholes?"  
  
He rubbed the spot on his head where she smacked him "Yes, of course, I do, but I would also love to not get hit every time I'm not paying attention"  
  
"Never going to happen"  
  
"Well at least you don't have any lightbulbs this time,"  He said, wincing as she passed by and smacked him upside the head again "I'll find some light bulbs just to break over your head" She replied  
  
Kinzie laughed "You two are hilarious," She said, deadpan and still looking at her laptop screen  
  
Boss shrugged "I try, physical comedy is my strong suit"   He sat up straight and cleared his throat "Alright, enough fucking around.  We have to find Gat and Pierce" He looked to Kinzie "Any luck?"  
  
"I've hacked into the police radio signal so I can hear any chatter that comes through, so far there hasn't been anyone matching Pierce or Gat's descriptions" She continued typing away at her computer, Boss frowned  
  
"Come on Kinzie, we're going to need a little bit more to go on than that"  
  
"I know" She replied "But I can only do this so fast, I'm going to try entering a backdoor on the police logs.  Of course, it's probably not going to help since they didn't take them directly to jail, they just brought them to strange abandoned locations and beat the crap out of them"  
  
Though Boss knew that Pierce and Gat could handle themselves in any situation, he was worried and felt a little sick at the idea that they could be facing the same hell he, Shaundi and Kinzie had endured for the last couple of weeks. He put his hand on her shoulder "Kinzie, are you... are you okay?"  
  
She stopped typing and closed the laptop "I'm not, but you aren't either.  And it doesn't matter because we can't take a break, we stop, they might die"  
  
He nodded, the three of them spent the rest of the early afternoon in silence, the television blaring in the background, it had been at least several hours before Kinzie broke the silence again "I've found a list of possible locations they could be keeping Pierce"    
  
Shaundi reached for the remote to turn the T.V off and Boss nearly leapt through the ceiling in his excitement to stand up "What are they?"  
  
"I'm sending them to your GPS, you should go check each place out because I'm having a problem locking onto anything specific.  And I'll probably have more information on Johnny after I break through these firewalls"  
  
"Right, I'll head out. Keep me updated" He went over to the window sill and grabbed a pistol and his cell phone, he was as prepared as he was ever going to be, he decided, and headed to the door only to be stopped by Shaundi "I'm going with you"  
  
"No, Shaundi. I can do this alone. You need to rest-"  
  
"Fuck. that" She said "Boss, you've been secretly drugged for the past couple weeks, you really think you can handle driving like that? I'm not proud of it, but I used to score some sick amphetamines and get dosed on them before doing drag racing back in Stilwater, I can drive drugged, I can drive coming down, I don't think it's safe for you to go alone. You might end up crashing the car, again"  
  
"I'm not five Shaundi, you don't have to treat me like a kid" He tried to push past her and she grabbed his wrist  
  
"No, you're not five. But you've just been through hell and I can't let you walk out of here on your own"  
  
"Shaundi, I can take care of myself" He pushed past her, purposefully shoving her in the shoulder as he walked out  
  
"Boss..." She said he was already heading downstairs for his car.  
  
* * * *  
  
Was he being an asshole? He wondered as he got in the driver's seat of his car.  He was being an asshole, wasn't he? It's just that he'd been so on edge since he killed that guy, so on edge since he got in that car wreck, and so on edge that Pierce and Gat were still out there somewhere likely getting beat as bad as he was.  
  
Nobody talked about the things they endured at their kidnappings, But Kinzie informed him that he woke up screaming about six times a night.  He didn't believe her, she and Shaundi had been keeping a close eye on him, closer than he wanted, it was starting to make him uncomfortable.  
  
As he turned to one of the side streets a blip on his phone notified him that he had an incoming call, he picked it up "Shaundi, I'm sorry" He pushed the button on the windows to led them down and get some fresh air "I should have let you come with me, I was being an ass back there"  
  
"I'm used to it, Boss. Don't worry about it. We're all a little... on edge here"  
  
"That's an understatement," He said with a laugh, but it was forced and he almost wished he didn't do it at all.    
  
"It's just that... nobody knows what to say to you now"  
  
"What do you mean?" He took another turn  
  
"The shit you've been through, Boss... it would break anyone."  
  
"I'm not broken, Shaundi. I'm fine. I've been through worse shit, Hell, I've done worse shit"  
  
"I'm just saying, Boss... someone who wakes up screaming every night isn't fine."  
  
"Shaundi, I..." He sighed "I have to go" He hung up the call and turned up the radio, might as well blast some tunes while he was driving.  The first location was an abandoned shopping mall.  The fuck is these guy's obsession with abandoned places? He thought, taking a right turn as his phone blipped off again.  Shaundi was calling him back, he ignored it.  
  
He forgot how stubborn Shaundi could be, and how much she hated getting hung up on. For the next fifteen minutes she rang his phone, on the tenth attempt she left a voice mail which he gladly listened to  
  
"You're a fucking asshole, you know that? You are. Kinzie and I are just worried about you and you don't have to be so hostile towards us for it, We're a family. Boss... We're trying to help"  
  
He pulled the car over on the side of the bridge overlooking the river, got out of the driver's seat and called Shaundi back.  "Hey, I never asked you to worry about me. And I've told you both about a hundred times that I'm fine"  
  
"I'm just worried that you're not dealing with this in a healthy way"  
  
"What the fuck is healthy? No, really. I want you to tell me what is a healthy way of dealing with this? It's been what... seven fucking years since I killed anyone and I just brutally beat this guy like it was second fucking nature"  
  
"You didn't just do it for fun," Shaundi said, "It was self-defense!"  
  
"No, there's more to it than that. It was blatant revenge, I wanted to hurt that asshole for what he did to me, but even more for what he did to you.  Nothing about the Saints is healthy, and I don't know why it took me so long to see that"  
  
"What are you trying to say?"  
  
"I'm saying, I don't know.  Maybe I'm tired, maybe I made a mistake coming back here and getting involved with all this again"  
  
"It's nice to know you think we're a mistake"  
  
"You know damn well that isn't what I meant, but I'm... I just... I'm going to go." He hung up his phone and resisted the urge to chuck it over the bridge, as was his intention in the first place, and got back in his car.  He only had a little bit to go before getting to location number one.    
  
Was he being an asshole? He thought again, no, no he was right. There was nothing healthy about dealing with anything in the Saints, and there was nothing wrong with him, he had been through worse, he had done worse.  So why was he waking up screaming every night? Why was he more afraid that he'd ever been? He used to walk through Steelport feeling like a badass, even when STAG militarized the place... But now, he couldn't even feel safe in his own city.  He felt... almost wrong.  
  
Maybe it wasn't him, maybe it was Steelport, maybe it had been too long since he had been back in Stilwater, his place of birth, his home... Maybe it was time to go back.  
  
His phone was ringing as he drove down the bridge, he put the call through, this time it was Kinzie "You should be coming up on the first GPS point I gave you. Now be careful, because I've hacked into the security cameras around the city and I can see there are people waiting there, guards mostly"  
  
"Noted, Hey I thought you said Pierce would have been taken back to Stilwater?"  
  
"I thought it was 'new' Stilwater" Kinzie replied  
  
"It's so fucking stupid to say New Steelport and New Stilwater every five seconds if I'm talking about them consistently."  
  
"Good point, and yes that was the original information I got after Pierce was kidnapped, and it could still be true, but these points of origin are all locations that Pierce may have been located at, perhaps before moving him... Even if you don't find him, you might find information"  
  
"Why do you want me to waste time with finding out where Pierce might have been?"  
  
"Because, Boss," She said with some sarcasm "I don't know where is now, but we might find information about where they took him"  
  
"Why don't I just find one of the guys and beat the shit out of them until they tell me where Pierce is?"  
  
"Subtlety isn't your strong suit, is it?"  Kinzie asked, clearly annoyed  
  
"Look, I don't get it. I don't...  First, you call me and you ask me for my help but now that I'm fucking here and helping, you don't want me to do shit my way."  
  
Kinzie didn't respond for a moment, and Boss thought he'd finally silenced her, a feat which seemed impossible most of the time, but she came back with something he never expected to hear from her  
  
"Your way? I'm sorry, aren't you the guy who poisoned a man's tattoo ink?  Aren't you the guy who shot his mentor in the head for 'being a pussy'?" She took a breath "Maybe, just maybe we don't need that guy. Maybe we need someone normal"  
  
He couldn't formulate a response, he was just staring blankly ahead and making the correct turns in his car as if he was on autopilot.  "Tell Shaundi that I'm out" he finally said, after the silence started to burn his ears  
  
"What?" Kinzie responded.  Boss turned the car around and headed somewhere else, somewhere Pierce had never been held hostage "You heard me, I said tell Shaundi that I'm out"  
  
"So you don't want to find Pierce and Gat? You're not even going to try?"  
  
"Why should I?" He laughed a bitter laugh as he stopped the car in front of his new destination and stopped the engine from roaring gently "Why? I mean everything I do for the Saints and this is how I get repaid? Everything I've risked... Feels like I'm always just saving everyone else and what the hell do they think about me?  Shaundi and Gat and probably Pierce... you, you all think I'm a psychopath, useless, crazy. Hell Asha's simulated hell was... failing but, it was me. She didn't trust me, she thought I was unhinged and-"  
  
"Boss..."  
  
"No, no I'm not your Boss anymore.  It's over, find someone else to lead your little gang, I knew this was a mistake the moment I came back" He hung up the call and stepped out of his car, dropping his phone on the ground and stepping on it with enough pressure to render it unusable.   He took a deep breath and entered the building.    


**Author's Note:**

> Since Jimmy's an adult now, I've written him less annoying and grating than he was in the game, He's a college age student who shows up quite a bit to help the saints in this story. And don't worry, Boss will meet up with everyone once again. 
> 
> The "cop" that took Boss in the car is not a cop, but he is part of the conspiracy to kill Boss. 
> 
> Giving the Boss a name was hard work, I didn't know what fit him, But I really liked the name Elliot when I was watching scrubs one night and "Edwards" fits as a last name (Plus I'm being funny since Troy Baker's middle name is Edward)


End file.
